


25 Days of MTMTE Christmas

by PetiteLepus



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Baking, Blow Jobs, Bukkake, Candles, Christmas Decorations, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Lingerie, Christmas Party, Christmas Shopping, Christmas Tree, Creampie, Dancing, Dom/sub, Drinking, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gangbang, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Gender-neutral Reader, Hair Dyeing, Hot Chocolate, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Karaoke, Kissing, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, Lingerie, Love Confessions, M/M, Master/Pet, Mistletoe, Oral Sex, Pet Names, Pet Play, Poisoning, Postcards, Praise Kink, Public Blow Jobs, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reading, Ribbons, Sadism, Shopping, Silence, Singing, Slow Dancing, Snow, Snow Day, Threesome, Threesome - F/M/M, Threesome - M/M/M, Valve Oral (Transformers), Wax Play, Wine, christmas sweater
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:55:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 35,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27825640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetiteLepus/pseuds/PetiteLepus
Summary: Happy 25 days of Christmas with your favorite Lost Light and Peaceful Tyranny crew with YOU!
Relationships: Anode/Lug (Transformers), Anode/Lug/You, Anode/You, Brainstorm (Transformers)/You, Brainstorm/Perceptor (Transformers), Chromedome (Transformers)/You, Chromedome/Rewind (Transformers), Chromedome/Rewind (Transformers)/You, Cyclonus (Transformers)/You, Cyclonus/Tailgate (Transformers), Cyclonus/Tailgate/Reader, Cyclonus/Tailgate/You, Drift | Deadlock/Ratchet, Drift | Deadlock/Ratchet/Reader, Drift | Deadlock/Reader, Helex (Transformers)/You, Kaon/Reader, Kaon/You, Krok (Transformers)/You, Lug/You, Megatron (Transformers)/You, Minimus Ambus (Transformers)/You, Misfire (Transformers)/You, Nautica/Reader, Nautica/You, Nickel (Transformers)/You, Perceptor (Transformers)/You, Ratchet (Transformers)/You, Ratchet/Reader, Ravage (Transformers)/You, Rewind (Transformers)/You, Rodimus | Rodimus Prime/You, Rung (Transformers)/You, Skids (Transformers)/You, Skids/Reader, Spinister/You, Swerve (Transformers)/You, Swerve/Reader, Tailgate/Reader, Tailgate/You, Tarn (Transformers)/You, Ten (Transformers)/Reader, Tesaurus/Reader, Ultra Magnus/You, Velocity (Transformers)/You, Vos (Transformers)/You, Whirl (Transformers)/You, Whirl/Reader, crankcase/You, reader/tesaurus
Comments: 58
Kudos: 166





	1. Decorations

In space, where there wasn't any sign of the passing of nature’s seasons, it could be hard to tell what time of the year it actually was. You may have relied on your computer and adorable puppy calendar a little too much. As you now traveled with the infamous and feared Decepticon Justice Division, you had lost access to both of them. Every day was a new day, oblivious to whether it was your birthday or Easter... but sometimes the guys gave you hints and signs of the happenings on your home planet. It wasn't that time. Yet.  
  
"Uh, Tess?" You looked at the giant mech standing in front of the door of your habsuite.  
  
Tesaurus was watching you, or at least you thought he was - you could never really tell with that huge “X” across his face. He nodded his helm, silently telling you to continue.  
  
"Why are you here? Weren't you supposed to be chasing some poor traitor with the others?"  
  
"They didn't need me to join this one. Got me another task," he said.  
  
You tilted your head. "What, staring at me?"  
  
"That, and keeping you here included," he replied.  
  
You frowned. "Tess, no offense, but I'm not a kid. You can't just lock me in my habsuite when I have done something bad."  
  
"Orders are orders, and Tarn ordered me to keep you here," Tesaurus said as he crossed his arms over his huge blender chest.  
  
You raised a brow at him, and copied him by crossing your arms over your chest. "I presume there isn't a way for me to persuade you to let me out?"  
  
"Why are you so keen to get out?"  
  
You shrugged. "I don't know. Why are you so keen on keeping me here?"  
  
"As I said just a moment ago - Tarn ordered me to keep you out of the way."  
  
"Out of the way? You mean they have someone captive here on the Peaceful Tyranny?"  
  
"I never said that."  
  
"But you implied it!"  
  
"Look, just-!" Tesaurus rubbed the huge red 'X' on his faceplate in frustration - his temper was being tested. "Just wait here until Tarn gives us permission to leave!"  
  
"Tess, I have been with you guys for a long while. So whatever Tarn has planned, or is doing right now doesn't startle me anymore." You paused before you grinned like a Cheshire cat. "So, no reason to keep me here!" You bolted when you finished your sentence.  
  
Tesaurus reached down to catch you, but you avoided his huge servos. You slipped between his legs, and ran to the door. You quickly placed the palm of your hand against the scanner, and the door shifted aside. You ran out just as Tesaurus tried to pick you up again. You took the route towards the main hall where most of the action took place. Tesaurus was quickly catching up with you, but he couldn’t run too fast in fear that he might squish you. You know, like chasing a hamster? You saw the doorway to the main hall and burst in.  
  
"Made it!" You yelled as you entered the room.  
  
Tarn and the others froze when they saw you. You were grinning like you had just finished a marathon. You were so full of adrenaline that you didn't immediately notice your surroundings. When you caught your breath, you looked around the main hall in awe.  
  
There were glowing garlands hanging from the ceiling and walls, accented by different colored orbs - bright blue, yellow, and red balls that created a beautiful glow. You turned to look at Tarn, Helex, Kaon, Vos, and Nickel, who were still frozen where they stood.  
  
"What's all this?" You asked.  
  
The mechs glanced at each other before Tarn turned to glare at Tesaurus, who was standing behind you awkwardly.  
  
"Which part of ‘Keep them away’ did you not understand?”  
  
"I'm sorry, Tarn, but they just wouldn't stay!" Tess defended himself.  
  
You nodded. "Yeah, Tarn. He tried, but you know me. I'm unstoppable." You smiled, and looked around. "So, what is all of this?"  
  
"They're decorations," Helex said.  
  
You looked at him. "For what? Did you catch a high-profile traitor, and now you want to celebrate?"  
  
"Almost," Nickel said as she rolled her optics. "They're for you."  
  
"For me?" You blinked. "Wha- What for?"  
  
Tarn cleared his intake, and looked at you tenderly for someone that had killed countless mechs for countless years. "It's that time of the year when your disgusting planet's residents celebrate the snowfall, the fat bearded human who brings gifts for well-behaved youngsters, and the anointed human sparkling who was born on the 25th day."  
  
"You mean Christmas?"  
  
Helex snapped the metal digits of his smaller pair of servos. "That's it! Christmas!"  
  
"Oh, you guys shouldn't have...!" You squealed in glee. You turned to look at Kaon, who had been quiet so far. "What are those sashes, like some kind of space decoration? Did you dip them into some kind of juice to make them glow?"  
  
"Almost." The blind mech smiled and showed you the sash he held in his servos. "They're innards."  
  
You froze. You were still smiling, but only because your brain had short-circuited. Innards... Cybertronian guts. You looked at Nickel, and the minicon nodded. You looked at Vos, and he said something in Primal Vernacular that you didn’t understand, of course, but Tarn gasped, and said something about saving your innocence.  
  
"What about those orbs?" You asked, but inside you were hoping that they weren't the Cybertronian version of testicles.  
  
Nickel cleared her intake. "They're optics."  
  
Optics… Cybertronian eyes. You blinked and took a deep breath. You regretted saying nothing phased you. Apparently, you weren't completely immune to the DJD's shenanigans. They really had tried their best though. Yes, the decorations were gory… but still pretty. You breathed out slowly, and then smiled.  
  
"I love it," you admitted, and it was mostly true.


	2. White Cocoa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You enjoy a drink over Swerve’s bar.

You sighed as you looked over your paperwork. Even though there wasn't any real paper involved, as you used a datapad, the chore didn't feel any less tedious. You put the datapad down to rub your tired eyes. There was no end to the busywork. You frowned, deciding that you needed a drink. So, you jumped on your hover scooter, and made your way to Swerve's.  
  
It was fairly busy, but not overcrowded when you took your usual place. Swerve was behind the bar, while Bluestreak was waiting tables. Everybot was having a great time, but you felt numb.  
  
"Hi Swerve..." You greeted the minibot as you took a seat on the barstool made especially for your small human figure.  
  
The customized barstool was necessary to avoid a crew member sitting on top of you, or accidentally pushing you into a bone-breaking fall.  
  
Swerve turned to you to say something, but he stopped when he saw how miserable you looked.  
  
"Evening! Is everything alright? You look... miserable?"  
  
You sighed as you leaned against your arm. "Not really..."  
  
"Want to talk about it?" He said with a smile. "It's kinda part of my job to listen to my customers talk about their day."  
  
You sighed again, and started to drag your finger across the table, making meaningless scribbles. "I miss Earth..."  
  
"Oh..." Swerve quieted down. "Is there something specific that you miss?"  
  
"I don't know... It's that time of the year again."  
  
Swerve was silent, and you could almost see the gears turning in his head. His visor flashed, and he looked at you.  
  
"Oh, it's December! The month of Christmas!"  
  
"Yeah..." You nodded. "I miss the jolly and happy mood, carolers, the gift exchange, and Christmas dinner with ham, turkey, lamb, honey-coated carrots, and much more..."  
  
"That sounds... delicious?" Swerve smiled at you, but your mood wasn't lifted.  
  
You got up from your seat, and grabbed your hover scooter. "I think I'll just go to sleep..."  
  
"But it's only 7!" Swerve exclaimed.  
  
You shook your head. "I don't care..." You muttered before taking off.  
  
As Swerve watched you leave, he couldn't help but sympathize with you. You were lightyears away from your planet, no, your home, and as much as he and the other mechs tried to make you feel comfortable, there were things that he and the others couldn't replace.  
  
Unless...? Swerve called Bluestreak to take over the bar before running off into the ship's vast halls...  
  
A week had passed you by, and you felt even crappier. You weren't yourself - you were unusually quiet and withdrawn. Rodimus tried to cheer you up with an attempt to do a backflip from his chair, but you were unmoved. When the meeting with Rodimus, Megatron, and Ultra Magnus ended, you were leaving to spend the evening alone in your habsuite. Picking up your phone, you saw that you had a notification.  
  
Swerve had left you a message: “Come over quickly! I have something for you that you're going to love!”  
  
You thought about your original plan, but you decided that you had nothing to lose by visiting the minibot. So, you got your hover scooter, and made your way to the bar.  
  
When the bar's doors slid open, you were taken by surprise. The whole bar was decorated with fake snowflakes, red sashes, and the voice of Michael Bublé was singing 'It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas'. You drove to the bar where Swerve was waiting for you.  
  
"Merry December!" He cheered as you parked your scooter.  
  
You looked around in awe. "Swerve...! This... This is amazing!"  
  
"I know I couldn't make it exactly like the Christmas you had back on Earth, but I figured that trying wouldn't hurt."  
  
Swerve smiled before reaching under the bar. He set a little tray before you with the cutest Autobot mug resting on it. You looked at the nearly overflowing drink. You could smell white chocolate. Swerve made you hot cocoa. You looked at the drink, and then back at Swerve.  
  
"Is this for me?" You asked.  
  
The minibot smiled in joy. "Yes! I got the recipe from Earth's Christmas media! I hope it was worth it to smuggle some Earth alcohol here! Bailey, or whatever it's called."  
  
"There is booze in this?" You asked as you pointed at the drink before you.  
  
Swerve nodded proudly. "Please, taste it? If you don't like it, I have wine and clear liquor also, if those are more to your taste!"  
  
Who were you to say no? You picked up the mug, and it warmed your hands and soul. You brought the mug to your lips and took a sip. Your eyes widened, and you immediately took a gulp of the hot drink, before sitting back with a content sigh. All while Swerve watched you expectantly.  
  
"So...?" He drawled. "How do you like it?"  
  
"It's... delicious," you said as you took in all of the flavors.  
  
It tasted just like Christmas morning. It had a similar flavor to eggnog, but you couldn't taste any eggs. It was smooth, sweet, creamy even, but with a little taste of spice in it. Cinnamon, ginger, cloves, nutmeg, and other spices that you couldn't name. You loved it.  
  
"My new favorite," you confessed.  
  
You smiled, warmth and joy filling you, just as the cocoa and booze warmed your body. Swerve smiled like he had just saved Christmas, and you really could say he did just that. You smiled at him and laughed in joy.  
  
"Thank you Swerve. You really cheered me up!"  
  
The minibot twitched nervously. He shyly looked to the side, but you could see his cheeks tint pink. Swerve rubbed the back of his helm and chuckled awkwardly before looking at you sheepishly.  
  
"Anything for you, wait, no, I mean yes, you're welcome!" Swerve stammered.  
  
You smiled as you listened to Swerve babble, despite his glossa tripping him up. You decided to have mercy on him, and leaned over the counter to peck the minibot's cheek. Swerve stopped talking, and blushed harder than you had ever seen him blush before.  
  
You grinned. "I mean it, really. Thank you Swerve."  
  
The minibot couldn't stop blushing, and you honestly found it so cute.  
  
"Y- You're welcome," he stuttered.  
  
You smiled as you sipped your white cocoa, made for you by the sweetest bot ever.


	3. Snowfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You take your girlfriend out to experience snow and maybe for a couple of kisses.

"Hey, babe?" Nautica started.  
  
You glanced at her over your shoulder as you sat in her lap with a datapad in your hands.  
  
"Yes, beauty?" You asked, and stuck your tongue out as she grinned at the pet name.  
  
Nautica pointed at your datapad. "What's that white stuff?"  
  
You blinked, and glanced at your datapad’s screen, where there was a photo of reindeer in the snowy landscape of Finland. You looked at her again.  
  
"You mean snow?" You asked.  
  
She nodded with a huge smile. "Yeah! What is it?"  
  
You smiled like the lovesick fool you were. Your girlfriend was so freaking adorable. You pushed the datapad into her hands, and let her scroll through photos of winter scenes.  
  
"It's frozen water! When the air temperature drops low enough, water crystallizes and falls down as snowflakes."  
  
"Ooh...!" Nautica exclaimed in wonder. "I wish I could see it. It looks fluffy! Shame that we can't visit Earth... I would have loved to see your home planet..."  
  
She fell quiet. You frowned sadly, but Nautica quickly changed the subject to tell you about what Brainstorm did earlier.  
  
You thought about what she had said. You couldn't return to Earth, not now when you were lightyears away, but you wanted to show her what wintertime on Earth looked like. That's when you got an idea! You quickly bid your giant girlfriend a good night, and ran to search for Rodimus.  
  
A week had passed before the Lost Light reached its stopover point. The whole crew was unaware as to the true reason for the delay. Rodimus had told everyone that the stop would be brief, and that no one should leave the ship. Except for Nautica and you.  
  
You led Nautica outside the ship carefully, minding her peds. You had asked her to close her eyes so that the surprise wouldn’t be ruined.  
  
"Where are we? Where are you taking me?" Nautica asked.  
  
"Hold on...!" You said, and then cheered, "Okay, open your eyes, beauty!"  
  
Nautica couldn't believe what she saw. Snow, snow everywhere, as far as her optics could see. You grinned happily. You couldn't take your girl to Earth, but you had asked Rodimus and Ultra Magnus whether they could find a planet with snow. The red and gold captain (co-captain) was happy to help (Ultra Magnus was less pleased by the delay, however brief). You would thank Rodimus later. Right now, the most important (and most amusing) thing was your girlfriend admiring the snow.  
  
"Oh Primus...!" Nautica gasped as she looked all around herself, taking in the pure white snow covering the land.  
  
As if by cue, it started to gently snow. You raised your hands to catch as many snowflakes as you could, but they sadly melted almost immediately when they came into contact with your skin.  
  
Nautica copied your action, but she succeeded, thanks to the lower temperature of her metallic body armor. You watched as she brought the intact snowflakes up to her optic level. She gasped in wonder at the beautiful ice crystals, and you thought how lucky you were to be with her. Apparently, you were staring at her for too long, as she had noticed.  
  
"What is it? Is there something on my face?" She asked.  
  
You were about to shake your head in denial, but then you got an idea. "Actually yes, there is something," you said.  
  
Nautica touched every part of her faceplate, but you shook your head at her.  
  
"No, no, let me get it for you," you said.  
  
Nautica smiled and thanked you, before kneeling down so you could get the spot she was missing. You grasped the sides of her helm, and without further ado, you reached up on your tip-toes to press your lips at the corner of her mouth. For a second you were afraid that the freezing temperature would lock your lips against her metal faceplate, but you were lucky.  
  
Nautica made the cutest sound when you pecked her. When you pulled away, she was looking at you in wonder, before a joyful and tender smile took over her faceplate. You smiled back at her, and her smile widened.  
  
"You know, there is something on your face as well,” she said.  
  
You tilted your head cutely. "Oh, really?"  
  
"Mm-hm…” She hummed beautifully. "May I get it for you?"  
  
"I would be honored,” you said.  
  
She leaned down, and kissed you straight on the lips. You closed your eyes and hummed against her lips. You enjoyed that feeling that warmed your chest whenever she looked at you, or God, kissed you. You didn’t even feel the cold anymore.  
  
After some time, Nautica pulled back, but you pursued her to push your lips back against hers. You took the chance to deepen the kiss, and you felt butterflies fluttering when Nautica's glossa tangled with your tongue. It was an intensive feeling, and you knew that you weren’t the only one who was warming up.  
  
You had to finally pull back, or risk fainting because of the lack of air, but Nautica didn't need to breathe. She gently yanked your scarf down to press her lips against your neck. You moaned out loud at the first lick, followed by sucking. You moaned shakily, and your hands went to her neck cables. You twisted some cables, and Nautica moaned out loud against your neck, and sucked harder.  
  
You were taken by the need to have her mouth over yours, so you gently pushed her off of your neck to kiss her hard on the mouth. You both moaned into each other’s mouths, and her servos twisted into your hair as your hands held her smooth cheeks.  
  
When the two of you pulled apart, your hair was a mess, and you bet you had huge hickeys on your neck... but you regretted nothing. You looked into her optics as she looked into your eyes. So full of love.  
  
"I love you so much... it's not even funny," you said.  
  
She snorted before smiling. "As you humans say... Ditto."  
  
You smiled and kissed her again, and again, and again. You both kissed until you were both ready for something more. You grinned at Nautica, and started leading her back to the ship. You would continue kissing... only without your clothes in the way.


	4. Puppies and Kittens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaon gets you something for the sake of giving. As the old saying goes, don't bite the hand that feeds you.

You were humming a Christmas song about a grandma who lives in the North, when someone suddenly cleared their intake behind you, scaring the crap out of you. You dropped the tinsel that you were trying to straighten and clear from knots. You whipped around, ready to scold the mech who had scared you. Kaon was standing there, grinning from ear to ear - even though Cybertronians didn't have ears.  
  
"Kaon!" You screamed. "What the hell?! You almost gave me a heart attack!"  
  
"That could be arranged if you want to have a seat...?" He chuckled.  
  
You scoffed, only half-amused. "Hilarious. Why are you sneaking around like Double-O-Seven?"  
  
"A what now?"  
  
"Never mind."  
  
You were about to turn away to get back to your little chore when you noticed something suspicious. Kaon was holding his servos behind his back. Okay, curiosity piqued. You tried to lean to the side to see what he had hidden, but the mech moved to block your view.  
  
"Kaon, what do you have behind your back?" You asked.  
  
The Con chuckled. "Wouldn't you like to know?'  
  
"Yes," you answered straightforwardly.  
  
You tried to run around him, but he saw it coming, despite lacking optics, and twirled around.  
  
"Ah, ah, ah!" He tutted at you with a cruel smile. "You have to choose one hand."  
  
"What about if I want both?"  
  
"You can have both, but only one at a time. Now..." Kaon smiled. "Which one is it?"  
  
You pondered your options. You had no idea, because Kaon hadn’t even given you a hint. It was fifty-fifty. So, you made peace with your (bad?) luck, and pointed at your choice.  
  
"Right servo."  
  
A grin, bigger than the one before, spread over Kaon's faceplate as he pulled his servo from behind his back. He presented you with a gift, wrapped in pink paper with a blood-red ribbon as decoration. You were just about to sink your nails into the paper to tear it apart like Tesaurus did to poor traitors, but you stopped.  
  
"Is there some kind of a scheme behind this?" You asked.  
  
Kaon shook his head, but his smile wasn't convincing. "I just want to wish you an early Christmas, that's all. You humans like presents, don't you?"  
  
He had you there. You yanked the ribbon off, and tore into the paper to reveal a white box. You opened the box. You couldn't believe what you saw. No, wait, you could believe it. There was a tail, furry paws, and a headband with cat ears - they were eerily the exact shade of your hair. There was also a purple collar with a golden bell on it, and purple furry lingerie...  
  
With a blank face, you looked up at Kaon, and raised a brow. "Really Kaon? Really?"  
  
He didn’t stop grinning. The early present was obviously a gift for himself. He picked up the cat ears. You tried your hardest to look unamused as he placed them on your head. You jumped as the headband delivered a tiny shock.  
  
"Kaon!" You yelped.  
  
He just chuckled. "Relax. Now the ears are connected to your thoughts and emotions!"  
  
"What?"  
  
You were skeptical, but you felt the ears twitch, and a smile broke over your face. Cosplay animal ears that actually moved like real ears? Every weeb's dream! Kaon noticed the change in your mood, and chuckled, reaching for the rest of his present.  
  
"Try them on?"  
  
Fuck it! You took the box, and started to undress before you realized… You looked at Kaon, and raised a single brow.  
  
"A little privacy?" You asked.  
  
He chuckled. "None."  
  
You rolled your eyes, before turning your back to Kaon. You quickly undressed, but carefully put on the delicate lingerie. You repositioned your ears, and made sure your tail was in its rightful place, when it started to move on its own as the ears did! You had to be honest, you hadn't ever felt so attracted to yourself.  
  
"You look mesmerizing, my little sweetie..." Kaon crooned.  
  
You were about to protest, but then he scratched your lower back just above where your fake tail was. You stretched in pleasure before turning into a purring mess.  
  
Yes, you had a weak spot, and yes, you were purring like a cybercat, and that only made Kaon smile wider. He sat down and carefully lifted you into his lap. You looked up at him, about to ask him something, but he was faster.  
  
"Ah-ah!" He tutted. "Pets don't speak. They either meow, purr, whine, or bark."  
  
You were what now?! You were about to protest, but Kaon suddenly sprayed something wet over your face. You coughed and sputtered, ready to give the mech a piece of your mind, but he must have had magic digits, because the next scratch had you whining in pleasure.  
  
He must have drugged you with that spray, with something that made you extra sensitive in it, because you were going mad with pleasure. Kaon smiled at you, and gently leaned down to peck the top of your head, right between the cat ears. After that began the hour-long torture where he would trace his fingers over you, just missing the spots aching for his touch. When you didn't get what you wanted you would whine needily, and he would give it to you.  
  
Kaon scratched your best places, and kissed your sweetest spots. If you had been in the right state of mind, you would have wondered how he knew all your weak spots, but you were having the time of your life being spoiled like this. His servo would tighten around your neck, and when he marked your neck with his mouth you felt weak. His fingers traced the inside of your thigh and you gasped, only for him to shush you and remind you of what noises to make.  
  
But you had to know.  
  
"Kaon..." You panted as he was petting your hair. "What was in the other servo...?"  
  
"Oh, that?" He muttered.  
  
He reached into his subspace, pulling out a box wrapped in blue paper with a pearlescent white bow. He gave the box to you, but you didn’t have the energy to rip the wrapping paper off. So, you pushed it back into his servo to silently ask him to do it. Kaon was amused by your pathetic state, so he removed the ribbon and paper before giving you the box.  
  
You opened it, hoping for something nice, but you found the exact same present – instead of cat-themed things, they were dog-themed. You stared at them, before turning to look at Kaon again.  
  
"You're a shameless bastard."  
  
"Oh, like you don't enjoy it." He grinned, and pecked the top of your head. Then his fingers snuck under your underwear's band. "Now purr for me...!"


	5. Ribbons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You spend time with Cyclonus and Tailgate and you get ideas.

You and your bot boyfriends (botfriends?) were sitting together at a booth in Swerve’s, each of you nursing your own drink. Tailgate was telling Cyclonus about the upcoming Christmas party that Rodimus had planned. You leaned against Tailgate’s side as you listened, your mind wandering.  
  
"Tailgate?"  
  
The minibot and Cyclonus turned to look at you.  
  
"What is it?" Tailgate said.  
  
"Do you have any Christmas presents in mind?" You asked before taking a sip of your cocoa. "You know, something you would like to receive?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know!" Tailgate said, but his visor was bright with excitement. "Maybe a new board?"  
  
"No," Cyclonus said.  
  
You and Tailgate snapped your heads to look at the purple bot.  
  
"But Cyclonus...!" Tailgate whimpered. "I can ask for whatever I want...!"  
  
"The board you have now still works,” Cyclonus said.  
  
You turned to look at the white and blue bot. "He is kinda right, Tailgate. Is there anything else you would like to get? Like a Nemuneko or Scalemate, or would an alpaca make you happy?" You teased Tailgate playfully.  
  
"Wha-?!" Tailgate sputtered as energon flushed his cheeks pink. "I am not a sparkling who needs toys to entertain me! Especially plush animals!" He stuttered as he waved his arms in big gestures.  
  
You just smiled as you rested your head in your hand. "One of each?" You asked.  
  
He stilled his dramatic protest in defeat. "Yes, please..."  
  
You snickered before rising up to gently kiss the minibot's cheek. Tailgate flustered and blushed at the public display of affection. You laughed lightly. He was so adorable. You turned to look at Cyclonus, who had been silent about his own Christmas wishes.  
  
"What would you like to have for Christmas, Cy?" You asked.  
  
The purple mech shook his helm before taking a sip of his engex.  
  
"I'm just fine with the two of you by my side," Cyclonus simply grunted.  
  
You shared a look with Tailgate. You smiled at him, and you knew that he had ‘smiled’ back at you by the way his visor shone brighter. You two knew that Cyclonus wouldn't ask for anything beyond your ability to give to him, but insisting that he didn't need anything at all? He underestimated the power couple that was you and Tailgate.  
  
"I think I know what to give you both,” you said before yawning and stretching your arms high over your head. You glanced at Tailgate and winked. "But I think I'll head to bed now. How about you, Tailgate? Will you be a gentlemech, and escort me to our room?"  
  
"Of course!" The white and blue bot cheered.  
  
Tailgate hopped down from the booth’s bench before reaching to pick you up. It was easier to be carried instead of running to keep pace. The two of you bid Cyclonus a good night and went on your way.  
  
Cyclonus grunted when he was left alone, but he decided to have one more drink before he would join you two. But just as he was about to order, Swerve set a fresh gallon of engex before him.  
  
"Your Conjunxes bought it for you," Swerve said with a grin and a wink before taking your and Tailgate's glasses to be washed.  
  
Cyclonus looked at his full glass and shrugged, downing the drink in one go. What he didn't expect was the sudden feeling of dizziness and weakness. Cyclonus grunted, his warrior instincts taking over. While Swerve was the one who served him the drink, his lovers were the ones to order it for him. He remembered the conspiratorial look they had shared earlier. Cyclonus braced himself before he shakily pushed himself up out of the booth. Cyclonus sluggishly walked towards the door, his vision blurry. He just made it past the doorway of Swerve’s before he lost control and fell into darkness...  
  
Cyclonus groaned as he came back to his senses. He tried to sit up, but found that he was bound. The former Decepticon forced his optics online to take in his surroundings. He was in the habsuite that he shared with Tailgate and you. Cyclonus tried to recall how he had come to be in this situation, when he realized that his captors had only lightly bound him with a flimsy material – a bright red sash twisted into knots, and criss-crossed all over his body.  
  
"You look good like this, Cy...!" Your voice came from the darkness.  
  
Cyclonus' helm whipped to the side. There you were, acting oh-so-innocent… but your devious smile betrayed your false body language.  
  
"What is this?!" Cyclonus growled.  
  
Tailgate emerged from the room's shadows to stand at your side, and cooed at Cyclonus. "Oh Cyclonus! I love to see you like this! Tied and bound...!" Tailgate gasped, "And at our mercy...!"  
  
Despite his verbal protest, Cyclonus didn’t feel threatened here in his habsuite with his two Conjunx Endurae, so he didn't bother to fight against his bounds.  
  
"So..." Cyclonus groaned. "This is your present?"  
  
"Not exactly." You grinned, before you jumped to straddle Cy's chassis like a cowboy. "This is all for you, big guy...!"  
  
Cyclonus vented hard, almost knocking you from his chassis, and straining the delicate sash that was barely holding him (and only because he allowed it to).  
  
"Hush, Cyclonus...!" You drawled as your finger traced the smooth sash pulled tight across his chassis. "You wouldn't want to break it? We worked so hard to get you all wrapped up...!"  
  
Cyclonus didn’t want to ruin it for you and Tailgate, so he suppressed his instinct to never allow himself to be in a vulnerable position. He took a deep breath, straining the red sash again, and evened out his venting. He would calmly submit for his Conjunx Endurae.  
  
"Good Autobot...!" You crooned.  
  
You gently tugged at the two tails of the bow tied over his chassis. You turned to look at Tailgate, who had been standing on the side watching the scene. You motioned him to come closer, grinning at him.  
  
"Come on, Tailgate. How do you want to open your present?"  
  
Tailgate carefully considered the bound Cyclonus before looking at you. "Do I have to?"  
  
"No...!" You grinned. "You can leave him as he is. Just...! Remember to enjoy the moment."  
  
You had been expecting Tailgate to stutter, or find the situation a little awkward. You didn't expect him to take charge by straddling Cyclonus' face. You watched with wide eyes as Tailgate opened his modesty panel before grinding his bare white and blue valve against Cyclonus' chin.  
  
"I need you to eat me out, Cyclonus...!" Tailgate gasped.  
  
You heard Cyclonus' cooling fans kick up a notch. He really loved to deep kiss Tailgate’s valve.  
  
"Whatever you desire, my love...!" Cyclonus groaned.  
  
Tailgate slid forward to bring his valve closer to Cyclonus’ mouth, and moaned in delight as the former Con's glossa got to work on his valve.  
  
You chuckled as you slid down Cyclonus' body until you were kneeling between his legs. You grinned as you rubbed your hands against his panels.  
  
"Give me your spike or valve, I don't care which, as long as I get one of them."  
  
Cyclonus groaned with his mouth pressed to Tailgate's valve. Suddenly, both his spike and valve covers snapped open. You licked your lips. It looked like you were having an appetizer and the main dish, and boy, were you hungry.


	6. Gingerbread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You make gingerbread men with Skids.

You yawned long and hard, your hands reaching towards the ceiling as you stretched. You rubbed your tired eyes, and then checked your phone. Not even close to that time yet. You put your phone away to avoid checking it obsessively. You finished the lukewarm cocoa you had been neglecting, when suddenly someone slipped into the other side of your booth. You lowered your mug, and saw that Skids had decided to pay you a visit.  
  
"Hello!" He greeted you. He smiled and pointed at your cocoa. "Is that the famous Swerve's Christmas Special?"  
  
"Yep," you nodded before resting your head on your hand. "What about you, Skids? Here to drink?"  
  
"Why drink when I can talk to you?" He asked.  
  
You snickered. "Don't let Swerve hear you say that."  
  
"There's the smile I was looking for!" Skids cheered.  
  
You tried to stifle your smile, but the blue bot had a knack for making people happy. He smiled wider when he saw your smile, then looked pointedly at your empty cocoa mug.  
  
"Do you want a second one? I could get it for you."  
  
"Nah." You shook your head, and pushed the mug away from you. "I was just thinking about Christmas treats, like, Yule log, candy canes, and gingerbread cookies."  
  
"Those sound interesting," Skids said.  
  
You nodded. "I like how you can decorate the cookies however you want. It was always a fun way to express my artistic side..."  
  
Skids noticed how your voice faded away despondently. Skids frowned. He wanted you to smile and be happy. He thought about different ways to cheer you up. An idea struck him like lightning. He smiled widely. You smiled back in slight amusement.  
  
"What got you in such a jolly mood?" You asked.  
  
"Cookies! We could make them together!"  
  
"Gingerbread cookies?" You wondered out loud. "I don't know... Where would we get the ingredients and cookie cutters?" You frowned in disappointment.  
  
"We will figure it out! I could bring some energon goodies, and we can decorate them together! Then we can share them with everybot! Doesn't that sound like fun?" Skids asked excitingly.  
  
You had to admit, it did sound like a great way to be creative. So, you smiled and nodded. "Yeah! Let's do it!"  
  
"Great! Is tomorrow at 12 okay?"  
  
"It's fantastic!"  
  
The next day, Skids came and knocked on your habsuite's door right on time.  
  
"Skids! Great, you made it!" You cheered with a huge smile on your face.  
  
You had the cutest apron tied at your waist. Skids smiled, and was about to comment on it when he smelled something interesting.  
  
"Is something cooking?" He asked, entering your habsuite.  
  
You smiled even wider as you rushed to your custom human-sized kitchen. "You’ll never believe this, but my rations had premade gingerbread dough stored away, with some different colored icing too!"  
  
"That's amazing!" Skids cheered with you.  
  
You grinned from ear to ear. "I couldn't wait! I was so excited, so I made one batch! And speaking of...!"  
  
You quickly ran to the oven, slipping oven mitts on before pulling out a fresh batch of gingerbread cookies. As you placed the baking tray on the stovetop, Skids leaned over to see what you had made.  
  
"What's this shape called?" He asked as he pointed to the cookies.  
  
You grinned and laughed a little. "It's a heart!"  
  
"But... It doesn't look like a human heart?"  
  
"It's a weird human thing, but yeah, they are like cartoon hearts." You grinned and looked at Skids. "Where are the energon goodies?"  
  
"Right here!" The bot smiled as he reached into his subspace to pull out a baby blue mixture stored in a clear cube. He laid the glowing cube on the table. "I got the energon dough from the mess hall.” Skids smiled as he pulled out something metallic from his subspace. “And Ten was kind enough to make us some cookie cutters!"  
  
"Oh! Gimme, gimme!" You made grabby hands at the cookie cutters.  
  
Skids gave them to you. You had to gasp in wonder. Ten was amazing! You were awed, impressed by the talent and skill necessary to make them. There was even an Autobot symbol cookie cutter!  
  
"They're amazing!" You said.  
  
Skids smiled. "I promised Ten first choice of the energon goodies. I hope you don't mind."  
  
"Well, we better get started then, don't you agree?" You grinned.  
  
He smiled. "Show me, please?"  
  
The two of you got started, making cookies and goodies shaped like Autobot insignia, shooting stars, angels, and other designs that fit the festive mood. Before popping a batch of gingerbread men in the oven, you put your Christmas playlist on, and you started to sing, Skids joining in soon after.  
  
You showed Skids how to decorate gingerbread cookies with icing. Skids was able to copy your technique for the energon goodies, and honestly, you were pretty jealous of how beautiful the outlier's goodies turned out. Somehow, he managed to make your hearts extra fancy with lace edging, and even gave your shooting stars a shining effect.  
  
For the next three hours, the two of you baked and decorated while you sang your heart and spark out. It was like a private Christmas Cookie Karaoke Party. After you had pulled the last batch of cookies out, you turned off the oven that had been heating up your habsuite. You grabbed a can of soda from your refrigerator to cool down. You and Skids shared a gentle fist bump to celebrate a job well done.  
  
"Amazing work as always, soldier." You grinned.  
  
Skids laughed. "You weren't that bad either."  
  
"Sooo..." You drawled. "What do we do with all these energon goodies?"  
  
Skids grinned. "I have an idea."  
  
Nearly every crew member came to your and Skid's Christmas Cookie Party, held in Swerve's bar. Everybot was there, drinking engex and sampling Skids’ energon goodies. They marveled at your and Skids' edible creations. You and Skids made sure to give credit to Ten as well.  
  
You really had baked too many cookies, seeing as you were the only human on board. The gingerbread cookies went so well with your cocoa, but this really should be your last cookie for tonight. You were about to bite into the cookie, but then you had a funny idea.  
  
"Look!" You laughed, holding the red Autobot cookie in front of your chest. "I'm an Autobot like you guys!"  
  
You earned many laughs, and others cooed at how cute you were... All except Ultra Magnus. You got a written warning for impersonating an Autobot. Magnus, please.


	7. Candy Cane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Whirl bond over canes.

You were absentmindedly munching on Christmas chocolate as you read your comic at Swerve's. It was a little early to be drinking, so the bar was nearly empty except for you, a few bots, and Swerve minding the bar. Perfect place to do some light reading. You unwrapped a large candy cane. You sucked on the straight end, tongue twirling around and collecting the delicious taste of peppermint as the candy melted in your mouth little by little.  
  
You flipped to the next page when suddenly a servo, no, a claw slammed down on your comic. You jumped in shock, and turned to address the menace that wouldn't leave you be.  
  
"What the hell, Whirl?!" You yelled around your mouthful.  
  
The Autobot in question squinted his only optic at you. "Right back at ya!" He yelled, twisting his claw to tear the comic's pages to shit.  
  
Your mouth fell open in shock, the candycane nearly falling out of your mouth. You turned to the deranged Autobot in anger.  
  
"I know I'm repeating myself, but… Whirl, what the actual hell!? This is the Deadpool comic where all of America's former presidents come back to life as evil zombies, and Deadpool fistfights with zombie Abraham Lincoln!"  
  
"Okay, that sounds badass! Why didn't you warn me before I destroyed it?!"  
  
"Your aft just came out of nowhere!" You yelled.  
  
Whirl retracted his claw. "I had a good reason to come over and give you a piece of my mind!"  
  
"They say that the third time is the charm, so I'll try this again." You took a deep breath, and looked at the steel blue flyer. "What the hell, Whirl?!"  
  
"It's not my fault you were being a hideous tease!" He shouted right back at you.  
  
Your jaw dropped in disbelief. "What are you talking about?!"  
  
"Don't act like you don't know! Acting all cute and innocent, but you're sucking that stick like you owe it money!"  
  
You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Whirl had mistaken your alone time with Christmas chocolate and candy for what? Teasing? Flirting? Whatever it was, it had cost you your comic book. You breathed in and out to calm your rage.  
  
You looked at him with a deadpan expression. "Whirl, that's how you eat a candycane. You suck and lick it."  
  
"What kind of pervert invented that sort of candy?!" He asked in disbelief.  
  
You sighed, and rubbed the bridge of your nose. "You wanna know what these candies were used for in the early days?"  
  
"Is it kinky?"  
  
You frowned, shaking your head as you started carelessly sucking the candycane again. "They were meant for children to suck on to shut them up in church during Christmas."  
  
"Boring!" Whirl hollered.  
  
You scowled at how loud he was being. Luckily, there were few other bots in the bar (Swerve had hastily disappeared when Whirl had started shouting), but it was no excuse for him to make a scene. Even though you shouldn’t have been surprised by his behavior.  
  
"Whirl, I will stab you," you promised.  
  
He laughed out loud boisterously. "With what?" He mocked.  
  
You pulled the candycane out of your mouth, and pointed it at Whirl, who fell quiet when he saw that you had sucked and licked the straight end into a pointed shiv. You jabbed the air between the two of you with it. Whirl stilled. You grinned smugly, thinking that you had managed to shock him into silence, but then you heard his cooling fans turn on.  
  
You blinked. "Whirl… Did you get turned on by me threatening you?"  
  
"I took notice that you made a weapon out of candy. That's pretty hot. Why wouldn't I get turned on by that?"  
  
"Whirl, what the hell is wrong with you?!"  
  
It was a rhetorical question, but Whirl answered it anyway.  
  
"Don't know. Take a guess. That's what everyone else does." Whirl shrugged.  
  
You were about to object when your eyes caught sight of a picture of Deadpool. It clicked in your mind. Whirl was a real-life Deadpool! They were both mad, suicidal, violent, and... pretty funny now that you thought about it. But Whirl was a giant sentient robot that was a real person talking to you right now.  
  
"You know, you could sharpen MY candycane!" Whirl laughed.  
  
His optic blinked. You thought that he had tried to wink at you. You looked around, and saw an empty bar. The only patrons must have left when they heard you and Whirl bickering. Swerve still hadn’t reappeared from the back. If you wanted to do this, now was your chance.  
  
"Okay," you said.  
  
Whirl blinked in surprised disbelief. "Say wut?"  
  
"I said okay,” you said.  
  
You crawled up onto the bar’s countertop, motioning him to take a seat instead of standing. Whirl took your place, and watched silently as you dropped down to settle between his thighs. You gently touched his interface panels, and they moved aside in an instant. His long blue and yellow spike emerged. You swallowed in slight nervousness, aware of how exposed the two of you were at the bar. You wrapped your hands around his spike, experimentally rubbing him.  
  
Whirl laughed derisively, but you could hear his cooling fans hum. "Wow, you’re actually doing it, you freak! Are all humans this easy, or just - Oh!"  
  
You interrupted Whirl with a bold lick to the tip of his spike. Beginning to feel more confident at Whirl’s obvious responsiveness, you lavished the tip with your tongue and lips.  
  
"Fragging tease...! Do it the same way as with that candy of yours!" Whirl groaned.  
  
You felt smug, hearing him lose his tough and arrogant front that everyone else had the pleasure of knowing. You dived right in, swallowing him deeper into your mouth until you felt his spike poking the back of your throat. You gagged lightly, your throat closing around him. You quickly pulled back, but still kept his spike in your mouth with your lips wrapped around him. Wrapping your one hand around his base to avoid choking on his spike, you started to bob your head up and down the length. You licked and sucked him to the best of your abilities. You were very aware that you were drooling all over Whirl's lap, but judging from his shameless moaning, he was enjoying your sloppy technique.  
  
"Slag, fleshie...! You're good..! Better than I thought...! Are you sure you weren't born to do this?" Whirl groaned.  
  
You moaned around his spike as an answer. Then you felt his claw pressing against the back of your head, but he didn’t try to push your head down on his spike. He just held his claw there.  
  
"Frag, I'm...! Overloading!" The flyer shouted.  
  
Then your mouth was filled with his transfluids. You pulled back, coughing and gagging, as the force of it shooting down your throat had almost drowned you. You didn't feel sexy one bit with your wet hacking, tearing eyes, and swollen lips. But then you looked up and saw Whirl looking at you like you had just gifted him with one of Brainstorm's more unstable and highly dangerous weapons, and you felt a sick kind of pride.  
  
You wiped your mouth clean with the back of your hand. You looked apprehensively at the mess the two of you had made all over Whirl's lap, the floor, and your clothes. After what you did in Swerve's bar, you would never be able to look the bartender in the optics again. You had to to clean up the evidence of your scandalous session before he returned.  
  
"Hey," you heard Whirl say.  
  
You looked up at Whirl, and he waved his claws at you.  
  
"What?" You asked as you wiped your transfluid-covered hands on your pants. They would no doubt stain. Maybe if you soaked them in detergent before washing in cold water…  
  
"How does it end?" Whirl asked.  
  
You raised your brow at him, not knowing what he was talking about. "How what ends?"  
  
"You know? Who wins that fight, Deadpool or the zombie president?"  
  
You were quiet in your shock. You didn't expect Whirl to give a rat's ass about your silly comics, let alone anything related to you. He must have seen your shock as he squinted his optic at you.  
  
"Well? Which one wins?!"  
  
You saw an opportunity. You smiled and shrugged. "Well, I could tell you... Or better yet, show you that and much more... But you must help me clean up this mess before Swerve, or any other bot, sees!"  
  
"What? Too good for old Whirly? Can't be seen with his fluids all over you?" He asked in a falsely aloof tone, claws clicking.  
  
You shook your head, and smiled. "No, but if you want this to happen again, I'm going to need your help now."  
  
That sparked Whirl's interest, and before you could say another word, he dashed to the bar's supply closet, grabbing an old engex-stained mop. He started to furiously clean his own transfluids off of the floor as you watched in amusement. You smiled, thinking about all of the comics and other things you could show him, as well as what Whirl might show you in return.


	8. Candle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Ratchet have this HOT thing between you two.

You didn’t usually have frivolous spending habits, but when it came to body care items and candles? Well, let's just say that your self control was weak when you smelled something delectable. It didn't help that you had this odd compulsion to collect the entire scent line. If you bought a Lemon Tart liquid hand soap, then you had to also buy a Lemon Tart hand cream, a Lemon Tart candle, and so on… Multiply that by the number of different scents that had caught your fancy… and your credit card was racking up the debt.  
  
You were proud of your collection. Crème Brûlée, Glazed Raspberry, Winter Apples, and Fresh Peppermint, to name a few. You loved seasonal scents, so you would stock up when sales were on. Some scents in your collection were a limited edition or discontinued, so you cherished them to the last sniff.  
  
When you left Earth to join the Lost Light, you took your collection with you. Even far from your native solar system, your collection has been growing slowly, thanks to a couple of bots.  
  
Speaking of said bots, you looked up as one of them entered your shared habsuite. Ratchet had just returned from a long shift in the medbay. You winced in sympathy as he cracked an old joint of his, hissing something under his breath.  
  
"Tough day?" You asked.  
  
He scowled. "Some bots, whose designations I'm not mentioning, drank themselves sick. I had to perform tank lavage on those idiots."  
  
"Aww... I wish I could help you around the medbay."  
  
"Never mind that," Ratchet grunted.  
  
You watched curiously as he pulled something from out of his subspace. You smiled as he bestowed upon you a lidded glass jar, filled with something orange. It was another candle! He knew you too well.  
  
"Oh, Ratchet! You shouldn't have!" You said as you took the candle, and popped the lid off to take a whiff. Your smile widened. "It smells like oranges and cloves!"  
  
"Don't thank me! Drift got it for you. He heard that it's a popular scent around this time on Earth. He would have given it to you himself, but he has something important to do with Rodimus," he confessed, looking to the side stubbornly.  
  
You smiled as you grasped his servo, and gently kissed his joints. "I love it. Thank you for bringing it to me, Ratchet,” you thanked him.  
  
He grumbled, but didn't pull his servo away from you. You loved your grumpy, emotionally-constipated bot boyfriend. Botfriend?  
  
"Can I light it now?" You asked.  
  
He nodded. "It's yours to do with as you wish."  
  
"Well..." you drawled. "It's such a nice candle... I think we could have some fun? If your old joints can handle it."  
  
"These joints are older than your whole species!" Ratchet yelled in false outrage.  
  
You giggled lightly as you went to your dresser. You lit up the orange candle, and waited for the release of its nostalgic scent. Smiling, you reached into a drawer to take out another candle, this one chubbier and a crimson red. You found your stainless steel refillable lighter, a rose with thorns engraved on it.  
  
"Kinky fragger," Ratched said as you handed him the candle and lighter.  
  
His words may have been rude, but his tone was affectionate and appreciative. He lit the candle, and your eyes gleamed in anticipation. The medic took notice, and grinned for the first time that day.  
  
"Shirt off! That's an order!"  
  
"Yes, sir!" You saluted.  
  
You quickly pulled your shirt over your head, and waited for further instructions. Ratchet nodded, pleased with your obedience.  
  
"Hands against the wall!" He ordered.  
  
You did as you were told, baring your back to him. You knew that Ratchet had a strong dominant streak in him, but he was still a caring lover always.  
  
"You remember the safeword?" Ratchet asked.  
  
You nodded. "Black."  
  
"Good. Ready?" Ratchet asked.  
  
"Please," you whined.  
  
You tried to stay calm, but the anticipation was killing you. Ratchet raised the candle above your back and tilted it...  
  
"Aaah...!" You moaned out loud.  
  
Your back arched as the first crimson droplets hit your bare skin. Your back had always been a sensitive area. You craved the sharp momentary pain, and the intense spreading heat of the hot wax.  
  
It wasn't dangerous in any way when handled by a knowledgeable partner. You made sure to only use paraffin candles - they held no scent, but they melted at a lower temperature than regular candles, which prevented serious burns.  
  
"How was that?" Ratchet asked.  
  
You looked at him over your shoulder. "More please...!" You begged.  
  
Who was he to deny you your pleasure. So, he tilted the candle again, letting the wax run down your back in rivulets. You moaned breathlessly.  
  
The pleasurable pain wasn't inherently sexual, but it became a sensual experience when shared with your lovers. Your friends back on Earth would never understand the beauty of pain and being marked by your lover.  
  
When you had first confessed these dark desires to your Cybertronian partners, you had been afraid that you would sound like some kind of sick pervert... But Drift told you that he had seen and done worse things, so you would face no judgment from him, only love and understanding. Ratchet had just nodded, and accepted you as you were. You thought that Ratchet would be more conflicted about inflicting pain on you, because as a medic, he was supposed to heal injuries, not cause them. Instead, your confession seemed to have freed Ratchet to express his dominant side with you and Drift. You were so relieved and... intrigued. Just how much would he do to you if you asked?  
  
The long waxplay session with Ratchet was a delicious agony of anticipation and searing heat. At the end, your back was covered in cooled and hardened wax. Ratchet blew the flame out, and placed the candle stub safely on a plate. Then he started to peel the wax off of your back. You moaned as your flushed skin was exposed to the cool air. Yes, you even enjoyed having the cooled wax removed. It was a unique sensation all on its own. Once the wax was gone, you straightened and went to pull your shirt back on, but Ratchet stopped you.  
  
"Not before I have cleaned your back properly!" He scolded.  
  
You whined, "I'm fine, just-!"  
  
Your protest was cut off when Ratchet began to spread warmed oil across your tender back.  
  
"This will dissolve any trace of wax remaining on your skin," The medic said.  
  
Ratchet rubbed the oil into your skin as he massaged your aching muscles. You tried not to sink to the floor as you held yourself up with your hands on the wall, your head hanging down. Finally, he wiped away the excess oil with a warmed microfiber towel.  
  
"Ratchet, you're a life saver."  
  
"Hardly,” Ratchet scoffed.  
  
"Well, you made my day," you said as you turned around to take the medic's hands and kiss them gratefully. "You and your magic hands."  
  
"You have Pharma to thank for that," he grumbled.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Never mind."


	9. Christmas Card

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let’s talk about Spectralism and send a Christmas Card for your family!

You and Drift were quietly enjoying each other's company in your habsuite shared with Ratchet. Drift was tending to his swords, while you read a fantasy story on your datapad. The magic system in the e-book reminded you of something…  
  
"Drift?" You asked, trying to get the swordmech's attention.  
  
The white and orange bot turned to look at you, and smiled. "Yes, my love?"  
  
You smiled at the pet name. "I heard from Rodimus that you practice Spectralism. What is that? Some kind of horoscope thing?"  
  
A smile bloomed on Drift's face as it did when talking about something that he was passionate about. That mostly included you and Ratchet. If there was something that Drift loved to do, it was bragging about you two to any bot that would listen.  
  
"I'm happy you asked! Spectralism is a religion where colors play a large part in our lives. You see, we express ourselves with colors. Each color has its own meaning, and depending on the situation, a color can have multiple meanings."  
  
"Oh, we have that on Earth also!" You said.  
  
Drift nodded. "Spectralists greet each other with 'The Call of the Wavelength' in Ancient Cybertronian. You might have heard Cyclonus singing in Ancient Cybertronian before."  
  
"Who hasn't?" You asked mirthfully.  
  
Drift smiled in amusement. "Now, tell me about Earth's color symbolism?"  
  
"Okay… So, just like you, we also have different meanings for colors. For example, purple means royalty, luxury, ambition, and spirituality, but it can also mean mystery and moodiness,” you explained. "Wait, no, bad color example. Give me a color?"  
  
"What does red mean to you?"  
  
"Red symbolizes love, heat, and passion, but it can mean also anger, danger, or be a warning." You smiled. "Hit me with another one. This is fun!"  
  
"Okay, how about pink?" Drift suggested.  
  
You nodded. "Pink means sweetness, good health, compassion, and femininity. The downsides are weakness and immaturity."  
  
This went on for a while, your lover asking you what colors meant on Earth, and you explaining their meanings to him. Drift listened to your explanations, commenting when he felt that human meanings came close to Cybertronian color theory. When you mentioned that colors were used in daily life on Earth, he became excited.  
  
"We Spectralists choose our paint jobs based on the colors' meanings! Do you humans do the same?"  
  
"We do choose different colored clothing. Some may think about the meaning behind the color of their clothing, or some just wear their favorite colors. Oh, and we also dye our hair, so it's kinda like you guys getting a paint job!"  
  
"How fascinating!" Drift exclaimed. "Have you ever dyed your hair to show your emotions?"  
  
"A couple of times, yeah,” you replied.  
  
Suddenly, you got an idea. Christmas was just around the corner, and you knew just what to do.  
  
You looked at Drift, and grinned in excitement. "How good are you with your hands?"  
  
"Pretty good, in my opinion,” he said, looking at you in slight confusion. "Why?"  
  
"I have a project for you."  
  
Ratchet was done, absolutely done. He couldn't deal with any more Lost Light shenanigans. He needed peace and quiet after a hard day of caring for foolish bots. He headed to his habsuite. When the door slid aside, he was taken by surprise. For some reason, the swordmech was kneeling on the ground, his back to the doorway (a vulnerable position that would never occur outside of their habsuite). Drift was talking to himself, or so Ratchet thought, until he heard you reply.  
  
"What are you two up to?!" The medic barked, scaring the fuck out of Drift and you.  
  
"Ratchet!" Drift exclaimed, turning to face the older bot. "You're early!"  
  
"I had First Aid tidy up the medbay. What are you two hiding?"  
  
"Uhhh..." Drift stalled.  
  
You shouted from behind him, "Let's show him!"  
  
"Show me what?" Ratchet asked suspiciously.  
  
Drift stepped aside, and the old mech's optics widened at the sight of you. Your hair was different. It was now bright orange, an unnatural color for a human.  
  
You grinned as you tousled your hair. "So, how do I look, Ratch? Hot? Fabulous? Scandalous?"  
  
Ratchet stared at you for a good minute before glancing at Drift. "You were talking about Spectralism, weren't you?"  
  
"Yes! Orange symbolizes a positive emotional energy and vibrant health, and it also stimulates healing," Drift told Ratchet.  
  
Ratchet fought the urge to roll his eyes, only his love for Drift holding him back.  
  
“And now I match the two of you!” You said with glee, eyeing Ratchet and Drift’s paintjobs. You grinned, winking at your co-conspirator Drift. "Ratch, now that you are here, we can start!"  
  
"Start what?" The medic asked.  
  
You dug your phone out of your pocket. "I'm taking a photo of three of us together and sending it to my family back on Earth!"  
  
"Why on Cybertron do you want a picture with us in it?" Ratchet questioned.  
  
Drift walked over to the older bot to stand at his side as you fiddled with the camera settings on your phone.  
  
"We’re Conjunxes! We should show their family that we love them and will protect them in their absence,” Drift said to convince Ratchet.  
  
"Okay, the timer is set, everyone take your places!" You yelled as you ran to Drift and Ratchet.  
  
Drift wrapped his servos around your waist to lift you, placing you on Ratchet's shoulder, on the other side of where Drift would stand.  
  
The medic grumbled. "Is this necessary? I have better things to do than take some picture so that some humans I never met can gawk at me."  
  
"C'mon Ratchet! My parents want to hear from me, and what better way to communicate with family than a personalized Christmas card?" You asked.  
  
Ratchet scoffed. "I just don't understand why I have to be in the picture also!"  
  
"You're one of my life partners! Of course, my family wants to see you also!" You said. Knowing that the timer was counting down, you looked away. "Okay guys, on my count!” You said in time with the blinking light on your phone, “1... 2... 3... Smile!"  
  
But none of you smiled. Instead, you and Drift turned to Ratchet, simultaneously pressing kisses to the old medic's cheeks. He never saw it coming. As the camera’s flash went off, Ratchet uncharacteristically blushed in mingled embarrassment and anger. You ran to your phone as Drift held Ratchet to kiss him properly (as well as distract him from what you were doing).  
  
"Oh, this is a great picture of us!" You cheered.  
  
Ratchet snapped, "Delete it immediately!"  
  
"No way am I deleting something this beautiful!" You laughed.  
  
You quickly added a Christmas border and message to the photo. Ratchet grumbled, but Drift kissed him again.  
  
"I'm sure it is a great picture, because it has the two people that I love more than life," the younger mech said.  
  
You grinned as you sent the picture that was sure to make your parents laugh.  
  
"Merry Christmas from Outer Space!"


	10. Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have a guardian angel and her name is Nickel.

Being the infamous Decepticon Justice Division's hostage…? Pet…? Heck, maybe they thought of you as their fleshy mascot… Well, it was interesting, at least. But why keep something that they hated? It was just one of the many mysteries regarding your captors.  
  
Especially Nickel. She had made it absolutely clear that she detested you. After you had learned about her home planet's doom, you thought that she had every right to hate organics. It's just a shame that your heart didn't listen to the logic that your brain was trying to hammer into it.  
  
She was so beautiful that she left you breathless. You limited your lovesick staring to when she wasn’t looking. You loved how she would use her extraordinary medic's hands to keep everybot functioning at a high level. She even learned human biology so that she could treat you as well. You admired how she could bring the feared leader of the DJD in line with a simple order.

You would laugh secretly when she made foul gestures at Tarn and the others. Sure, she has shown some to you as well, but you were not offended. It just amused you. She would no doubt be pissed if she knew that you enjoyed her nasty gestures, as that would challenge her authority. But oh, how she made your heart beat faster than it ever had before. You thought that you had never felt like this towards anyone back on Earth.  
  
On Earth, you had given gifts to your loved ones, so now you wanted to give Nickel a Christmas present. She would no doubt be confused, and would probably think that you had done something wrong and were trying to cover your tracks. She would be right. You were trying to downplay your obvious crush on her.  
  
You had the perfect opportunity when the DJD stopped at an alien planet to refill the Peaceful Tyranny's fuel tanks. You told them that you would be back quickly, and that you would only visit the marketplace, but they wouldn't let you go alone. So, Vos came with you.  
  
You were browsing through all kinds of shops that had everything from pricey looking gems and jewelry, to odd looking knickknacks, and a wide variety of useful and ingenious items. You wandered deeper and deeper into the marketplace. Vos said something as he glanced around like a vigilant bodyguard. You looked at him, and pointed to a nice-looking potted plant that had energon-pink buds just beginning to bloom.  
  
"Would this look good in Nick- Ah, no, in my habsuite?" You quickly corrected yourself, so that you wouldn't reveal your crush on the little medic.  
  
Vos glanced at the plant, and said something in that ancient language you couldn't understand. You could tell that he was getting bored.  
  
You smiled, and leaned down to take a gentle whiff of the flower buds... when suddenly your body seized up, and you collapsed on the ground. You heard Vos screeching something before he picked you up, and started running straight towards the Peaceful Tyranny. What happened next was all blur to you.  
  
Your eyes weren't working, and you were hearing distant incomprehensible voices. You were overtaken by waves of sickening nausea, before being turned on your side to vomit. You were terrified. You were sure that this was the end of your journey. All that you could think about was how Nickel would feel about it... You wished you could see her, and tell her how you felt...  
  
Your eyes snapped open, and you sat up in a cold sweat. There was something over your nose and mouth. You yanked it off, and looked at it. An oxygen mask. Where were you, and what had happened? You looked around, highly alert like a rabbit during hunting season. You were in the medbay of the Peaceful Tyranny. You became aware of the sound of beeping. You looked to your side, and saw that you were linked to a vital signs monitor.  
  
You were about to jump down from the recharge slab (with a human-sized mattress for your comfort), but then the medbay's door slid open and you saw her. Nickel. You stared at her with your eyes wide open, and for a moment you thought you were hallucinating, because she looked radiant, just like an angel from Earth's mythos. She rushed to you, quickly taking the mask from your hand, and putting it over your face again.  
  
"What the Pit is wrong with you!? You need oxygen!" She yelled as she pushed you back to lie down.  
  
You were still stunned by her entrance. "W- what happened?"  
  
Nickel glared at you. "You smelled a toxic plant, and were severely poisoned!"  
  
So that's what happened. You were about to say something, but Nickel beat you to it.  
  
"You could have died, NO, you would have died if Kaon hadn’t gotten the antidote from the shopkeeper! What were you thinking, stuffing your face into unknown plants?!"  
  
"I- I...! You're right Nickel..." You admitted mournfully, "I wasn't thinking. Well, I wasn't thinking about the dangers. I had no clue it could be dangerous! I was only thinking about you."  
  
"W-what?!" Nickel stuttered, and if it was possible, she became even angrier. "Are you trying to push the blame onto me?!"  
  
"No!" You cried out, and lowered your head in shame and regret. "I just... I wanted to make you happy. You do so much for the guys and me, and I wanted to get you something that would show how much I... I love you."  
  
"You idiot! You don't understand anything!" She yelled, and suddenly grabbed a hold of your arms.  
  
You winced at her tight grip, but then she suddenly pulled your mask down and kissed you. Hard. Your eyes widened in shock but before you knew how to react, she pulled back, and you were taken aback by the tears in her optics.  
  
"I'm as happy as I can be now that you’re here with us!" She shouted as she wiped her optics dry. "For an organic you're bearable! You're sweet, kind, and pathetically weak! I can't leave you alone for even a minute before you do something stupid again in an attempt to impress me!"  
  
"Y- You...!" Your lower lip started to wobble, and your throat tightened dangerously as a sob escaped past your lips.  
  
The next thing you knew, you were crying. Ugly crying. Nickel groaned, and despite her distaste, she wrapped her arms around you, and pulled you into a hug. The two of you cried against each other for a good while before she pulled back, and helped you to get your oxygen mask back over your face. You laid back down to rest, and smiled at her.  
  
"Were you watching after me while I was sick?"  
  
She scoffed, but there was color on her cheeks. "Well someone had to! I didn't want you to die!"  
  
You smiled wider, and could feel tears forming again. "You're my guardian angel..." You sighed dreamily.  
  
Nickel rolled her optics. "Save me from your tacky Earth superstitions." But she still leaned down and kissed your forehead. "Get better soon."  
  
"If you keep kissing me like that while I'm sick, I wonder how you’ll kiss me when I'm healthy." You grinned, and watched with glee how energon flushed her cheeks.  
  
"Get better, and you just might find out,” Nickel said with a mischievous smile.  
  
“Deal.” 


	11. Naughty Or Nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? How has Megatron been acting?

"Be sure to finish your reports on time for the next meeting. That concludes our meeting for today," Ultra Magnus finished.  
  
There was a clattering sound as bots put away their datapads before Magnus had even finished speaking, but you were in no rush. Good things come to those who wait.  
  
"Alright, freedom!" Rodimus cheered. He leaped from his seat, ready to bolt, but then he stopped by your seat. "Want to come to Swerve's with me? The first one is on me!"  
  
You smiled at Rodimus, but shook your head. "I'm sorry captain, but I have some serious business to attend to."  
  
"Leave it! Let Magnus do it!" He tried to convince you.  
  
You grinned at the thought. "It's not something to be pushed onto another person, but still, thank you for inviting me, captain."  
  
"Well... Let me know if you change your mind!" The young Prime said before speeding away.  
  
You waved after him, but he was already gone. You leisurely gathered up your datapads, slipping them into your shoulder bag. On the other side of the table, Megatron groaned as if in pain, drawing Ultra Magnus’ attention.  
  
"Are you well, Megatron? You sound as though you're in distress,” the huge blue bot said with concern.  
  
Megatron shook his helm. You watched them like a hawk, your ears metaphorically perked up. You were probably staring at Megatron a little too intensely, interested in what he was going to say next. Megatron noticed that your eyes were on him, so you casually looked away, pretending to check your phone for notifications.  
  
"Just fool's energon doing what it does best," Megatron said to Magnus, resting his servo over where his tank resided.  
  
Ultra Magnus nodded, and apologized for the inconvenience. Deciding that you had delayed enough, you swung your bag over your shoulder before walking up to Megatron. You cleared your throat to get his attention. The grey mech looked at you, and you smiled warmly.  
  
"Would you escort me back to my habsuite, captain?"  
  
Megatron looked at you long and hard, but nodded and picked you up. The walk there was quiet, and unusually quick. You punched in your habsuite's code and entered, Megatron following behind you. You threw your bag onto your chair without a care in the world, and turned to look at your captain.  
  
"Fool's energon, huh?" You asked with amusement.  
  
Megatron nodded. "It seemed like a logical explanation for my behavior."  
  
"Quick thinking."  
  
You smiled wider, motioning for Megatron to kneel before you. The big mech dropped to his knees, maybe a little too enthusiastically. He was finally on the same level as you. You took a hold of his faceplate, leaning in for a kiss. He kissed you back like he had been waiting for it the whole day. You pulled away, and smiled at the anticipatory look in his deep red optics. You pressed the heel of your foot against his modesty panel, and Megatron groaned like he was in pain.  
  
"Open your valve cover for me?" You asked.  
  
The panel shifted aside, and the sound of buzzing filled your habsuite. You looked down to where the tiny but powerful vibrator was attached to his anterior node. You hummed a happy tune as you kneeled between his legs. You pressed your hand against the toy, pushing it firmly against his oversensitive node. Megatron made no sound, only baring his denta like he was in pain.  
  
"You did so well during the meeting...!" You purred as you twisted the toy almost sadistically. "I could have gone drinking with Rodimus, but I couldn't bear the thought of you suffering while I was having fun."  
  
"I could have taken it...!" He groaned, his helm gently resting on your shoulder.  
  
You nodded your head. "Of course you could have,” you said appreciatively.  
  
You eased the pressure on the toy, and a shudder passed through Megatron’s body. He was panting and looking at you like you were torturing him. He was desperate for that final push... But he didn't beg for it. He would withstand anything you threw at him, just as he had withstood everything that the universe had thrown at him.  
  
You could have made this harder for him, but he really had tried to prove himself to you. You smiled, closing your eyes as you gently pressed your forehead against his. In this way, you could almost hear his spark pulse for you.  
  
"Now the question is... have you been naughty or nice?" You hummed as you opened your eyes to look into his optics. You saw many emotions swirling in Megatron's crimson optics, but you saw no malice. You smiled, and kissed the space between his optics. "I think you have been very nice! You know what that means?"  
  
"Don't make me say it," he groaned.  
  
You just grinned wider. "Nice Autobots get rewarded!" You cheered.  
  
Before the grey mech could say another word, you set the vibrator to its highest setting and pressed it hard against his node. Megatron's optics flared, and then his helm whipped back, his mouth open in a silent scream as a powerful overload wrecked the former warlord.  
  
His frame was rigid as a steel pole when you finally detached the buzzing toy, throwing it over your shoulder. The toy actually vibrated so hard that it took off like a Roomba on a mission. Maybe you had been a little too hard on him? Once the vibrator was detached, Megatron's frame relaxed. You guided Megatron to sit back, his helm resting against your chest.  
  
Megatron wasn't sure how to act in this situation. No one had ever treated him gently until you came into his life. Not only that, but you challenged him as few people had. You stood by his side when the situation became tough, or even dangerous. You had no reason to even like him. He couldn’t understand how you could forgive him for killing billions of organics, and trying to cyberform your home planet, but somehow you did.  
  
"You know I care about you, right?" You asked as you held him as a lover.  
  
Megatron could hear your heart pump, and somehow it was a vulnerable moment. He was about to tell you what a bad idea it was for you to trust him as you did, but you were quicker.  
  
"Wanna know what Naughty Autobots get...?" You whispered seductively with a dark undertone.  
  
Megatron needed to stop being surprised at your ability to sense his dark moods. Megatron stilled, his mind jumping to different scenarios, each more sinful than the last. You knew exactly how to feed his desire for punishment.  
  
“Naughty Autobots get punished!”


	12. Yule Wine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You share a drink with your lover and maybe a dance.

He was just so handsome. You were blatantly staring at him. Why try to hide it in the privacy of your habsuite? Minimus Ambus was doing his post-Magnus armor stretching routine, completely oblivious to how you were ogling him. You grinned as you watched him bend over to touch his peds, biting your lip as you enjoyed the view of his beautiful aft.  
  
"You know I love you, right?" You suddenly blurted out.  
  
Your lover straightened, and turned to address you, "You are certain that this form is acceptable to you?"  
  
"I have never been so sure about anyone else," You confessed.  
  
You smiled as you watched a light blush rising in his green cheeks. He still had trouble accepting the fact that you loved him even without his huge armor. Sure, you had first been drawn to Ultra Magnus due to your size kink, but your little green Minimus Ambus was the bot of your dreams. Also, Minimus Ambus could spike you without killing you – unlike ‘Ultra Magnus’. It was like dating two bots at once. You were one lucky human.  
  
Your pleasant daydreams were cut short when you noticed Minimus grabbing a datapad from his desk. You immediately sat up in a panic.  
  
“Hey! What is that?!"  
  
"This?" Minimus replied as he looked at you, holding up the blue datapad. "I still have to finish editing Rodimu--"  
  
"None of that!" You yelled, flailing your arms in protest. "I want you to pay attention to me only!"  
  
"Please, this will be finished in a minute. Then I'm all yours."  
  
You stopped flailing. "You promise?"  
  
He solemnly held his servo over his spark chamber. "I promise."  
  
You nodded with a sigh. "Okay, but don't take too long."  
  
Minimus nodded before focusing intently on the datapad. You were silently sulking as he started correcting Rodimus’ atrocious grammar, but as Minimus was intensely focused on his task, you realized that you had better use this time more constructively. You picked up your own datapad that was linked with your habsuite, and scrolled through your collection of Christmas songs from Earth.  
  
You found a soothing jazz song, and scheduled it to play. Then you used the datapad to activate the fireplace. It wasn’t a real fireplace, just fiberoptic lights on artificial logs, but it did create a nice mood. Especially when you dimmed the rest of the lights in your suite. You glanced at Minimus - he was still fixing the captain's typos.  
  
You padded over to your fridge, pulling out a bottle of white wine for yourself, and an expensive bottle of top-shelf engex that you had bought from Swerve as a gift for your lover. You gently bumped the fridge's door shut with your hip. Transferring the large bottle of engex under your arm and squeezing it against your side, you then had a hand free to grab a pair of wine glasses from the kitchen cabinet. You carefully placed the items down on the desk, trying not to disturb Minimus, but he looked up when you cracked the bottle of wine open.  
  
"Done with Rodimus' report?" You asked with barely contained excitement.  
  
"Yes," Minimus replied as he put the datapad away.  
  
Minimus looked around, just noticing the intimate atmosphere you had created. He looked back at you, noticing the bright pink engex bottle you held. You turned the bottle to display the label to him.  
  
"Is that for me?" He asked.  
  
You grinned like a fox with a mouse. You offered him a wine glass, and he took it, mindful of the delicate stem.  
  
"Yeah, I thought it would be fun to try something different. I hope you don't mind?"  
  
Minimus tilted the glass in his hand, twirling the glowing pink liquid as he inspected it thoughtfully. Meanwhile, you poured yourself a glass of wine. You raised your glass to Minimus, and he copied your motion.  
  
"Salute!"  
  
"What does that mean?"  
  
"Oh, it’s just the Italian way of saying ‘cheers’. Cheers!"  
  
You clinked your glass against his, and took a sip of your wine. Top class wine, just what you expected from Swerve. Minimus took a sip of his high-grade, and was pleasantly surprised.  
  
"Delicious,” he said, and looked at you. "Where did you say you got this?"  
  
"Oh, just from some friend,” you said.  
  
He squinted his optics at you. "This friend wouldn’t be Swerve, would it?"  
  
"Why would that matter?" You asked.  
  
Minimus looked at the engex in his glass. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he decided against it and shrugged. "Just a thought. Cheers."  
  
You clinked your glasses together again. This time you took a bigger sip. The wine was delicious, and warmed you up nicely. Your lover must have been enjoying his engex, judging by the way he was smiling.  
  
A beautiful piece of music started to play as scheduled. Your eyes and Minimus' optics locked together like magic, and you both put your glasses down. Minimus bowed before you, offering his servo to you.  
  
"May I have this dance?"  
  
Your heart flipped, and you felt a blush rise to your cheeks. It couldn't have been the alcohol - you had only had a couple of sips. It must have been the way your lover treated you so gentlemanly. You always had a soft spot for men (mechs!) of culture. You smiled, placing your hand in his servo.  
  
"It would be my honor."  
  
Minimus drew you to the center of the floor, pulling you close with a servo resting on your back. You started to slow dance in time to the music. It was a simple Waltz, but you were still nervously watching your feet. Minimus noticed this and stopped dancing for a moment.  
  
"Is everything alright?" He asked.  
  
You sheepishly looked to the side, too embarrassed to look him in the optics. "I'm afraid I might step on your feet..."  
  
"Love, I'm made out of living metal. You couldn't hurt me even if you tried,” he said matter-of-factly.  
  
You blushed violently. How could you forget such an obvious thing? Your face felt like it was going to melt off you were so embarrassed. To hide your flushed cheeks, you pressed your face into the crook of Minimus' neck.  
  
"Can we try again, please?" You whined in mortification.  
  
"As you wish.”  
  
The white and green mech smiled, and slowly started to dance again. You tried your hardest to not look down at your feet again, so you kept your face hidden against his neck. You followed his lead, and after a moment you began to feel a little better. He had eased you into the rhythm with him. You no longer felt like you could possibly hurt him, so you raised your head to look at him.  
  
"You're a great dancer, Minimus."  
  
He cleared his intake. "I had time to study Earth's courting rituals. Dancing seemed to be one strategy best suited to me."  
  
"Why would you try to court me when you already have me?"  
  
"When you love someone, don't you want to let them know how much you want and love them?" He questioned, "Isn't that why you planned this for me?"  
  
He had you there. Despite already being in a relationship with him, you still wanted to surprise him and make him feel wanted. You loved him, and you wanted him to know it!  
  
Just then, the music ended, and the two of you were left standing there in silence. You dared to lift your face to look Minimus in the optics.  
  
"May I kiss you?"  
  
His crimson optics flashed lightly as though your request had surprised him, but he nodded calmly. "You may."  
  
You smiled happily. You started to raise up on your tip-toes, but to your joy, Minimus met you halfway. The kiss was sweet with heat, and you leaned up against Minimus, feeling your legs weakening from under you. When you pulled back you were grinning like a fool, but you were a fool, a fool drunk on love.  
  
"Want to drink more, and listen to crooners?" You suggested.  
  
Minimus smiled, and oh, how handsome he looked when he smiled.  
  
"I would like that very much."


	13. Mistletoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet a new mech and they defend you at Swerve's bar. It's only fair to return the favor.

Living with a robotic race whose members could easily live over a million years was initially mindblowing. They were unimaginably older than you, so you expected them to be wiser, but you soon learned that Cybertronians were flawed. Some mechs acted like idiotic human teenagers, as if every day was April Fools’ Day.  
  
After telling Rodimus about Christmas, the captain had announced to the entire crew that the Lost Light would be celebrating the holiday. You were surprised to see the crew react very favourably to the idea of a Christmas party. One thing you had learned from the moment your feet touched down on the Lost Light was that bots would take any, and you meant ANY, chance to drink.  
  
You were a bit leery at the thought of drunk bots many times your size and weight, but you decided to check out the Christmas celebrations at Swerve’s. Even though you doubted Swerve had anything, alcoholic or not, that wouldn’t kill you with one sip.  
  
You were already tired of this scene, but it would be rude to abandon your friends so soon. You listened silently to Skids and Nautica’s conversation as they sipped on their engex. They had insisted that you come out with them, but now you were feeling as though it wouldn’t make a difference if you weren’t there. Chromedome and Rewind had left not too long ago, as they had been feeling tipsy and frisky due to the influence of the engex. If they had left early, maybe it was okay for you to do the same?  
  
You had made up your mind to silently slip away when the bar's doors opened, and a couple of rowdy bots ran in like their afts were on fire. They were laughing and boasting about trolling somebot called Ravage. You wondered why the name sounded familiar when the doors opened, and a huge black panther slinked into the bar.  
  
At first, you had mistaken them for a big cat, but when you looked closer you saw that they were actually a bot. A cat bot. Huh. So Cybertronians kept pets also. You took notice of a long thin rod attached to the cat's back, with plastic mistletoe hanging above their head. God knows how the mechs got their servos on Christmas decorations, but that was unimportant when they had used it to tease a poor kitty. You hopped down from your seat with a frown, and approached the cat. As you came closer, you began to realize how much larger than an Earth panther this cat bot was, so you slowed your steps to approach with extreme caution.  
  
"Hey there,” you crooned gently, getting the robotic cat's attention.  
  
Being a cat lover, you knew how to approach an unfamiliar kitty (the same rules applied to robotic alien cats, right?). The black cat turned their red optics on you, and you stopped in your tracks. You smiled at the creature, trying to give off good vibes. You slowly extended your arm, offering your hand to the giant cat bot to sniff, but the cat greeting was interrupted by laughter.  
  
"Oh Primus, it's actually talking to Ravage!" A mech hollered.  
  
You frowned. What did they just say? You turned to see one of the mechs that had been loudly boasting about pranking Ravage earlier. You were about to open your mouth to reprimand the mech in question, when suddenly the bot's friend walked up next to them, and started cooing at you.  
  
"What a weird pet...! Did your owner leave you behind?"  
  
"Excuse me?!"  
  
You knew these mechs were hammered, but you couldn’t help but take offence. Never in your life has someone ever mistaken you for a pet as though you were a mere animal!  
  
"Aww, it understands me! Where is your owner, cutie?" The mech slurred drunkenly.  
  
Your glare on them hardened. You were about to start a whole new war between you and these specific Cybertronians, but before you could tear them into scrap metal, the huge cat behind you spoke up.  
  
"I would watch my glossa if I were you. You're talking to the planet Earth's official liaison. Just by their ranking, they outclass you two blockheads."  
  
"What was that, you little-!"  
  
The drunken bots raised their voices, and began to advance on Ravage threateningly (a very bad idea, and evidence of just how drunk they were), but Skids and Nautica intervened. Skids put a heavy hand on one bot's shoulder, and Nautica stepped in front of you to prevent you being crushed by the other bot.  
  
"I would leave before Swerve gets Ten to throw you guys out. Then you can get your engex from Mirage's bar from then on,” the blue outlier suggested.  
  
The drunken bots looked back at Swerve, who was already pointing them out to Ten. The bots grumbled, but they could see Ten making his way through the crowd towards them. They threw one last glare at Ravage, and then stalked out of the bar.  
  
Skids and Nautica watched them leave, and then turned to you, looking you over for injuries.  
  
"Sorry we weren’t there to stop them harassing you," Skids apologized.  
  
You waved your hand to dismiss Skids’ unnecessary apology. "No worries, I just can't stand drunk idiots."  
  
Nautica smiled wryly. "Luckily, we aren’t drunk enough to count as ‘drunk idiots’."  
  
You rolled your eyes at Nautica, before turning to look at the black cat, no, bot standing at your side. It was now obvious that he was no pet. You felt embarrassed at having treated him like one, especially after experiencing what that was like yourself.  
  
"Thank you for standing up for me. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't stepped in. Ravage, was it?"  
  
"At your service." He nodded.  
  
You smiled lightly, but you were still confused as to why his designation was familiar. You thought about asking who he knew on the Lost Light, but you weren’t sure how to word it without sounding like those drunken bots that had asked you where your owner was.  
  
"You thought I was an animal, didn't you?" He said as if he had heard your thoughts.  
  
You panicked.  
  
"I- Uh… Ye- I mean-!" Your tongue tangled as you tried to deny the obvious truth. You snapped your eyes and mouth shut before you could offend Ravage even further. You took a deep breath, and then looked him in the optics. "I'm so sorry. I didn’t mean to disrespect you. I know less about Cybertronians than I would like to admit."  
  
"I forgive you,” he said.  
  
You blinked. "Really?"  
  
"Yes,” Ravage said. "You aren't the first and won't be the last to mistake me for a pet. Though you are the first to ever apologize for it."  
  
"I said I was sorry!" Nautica cried out.  
  
Ravage side-eyed Nautica, recalling how she would constantly try to pet him, despite being threatened with bodily harm. Not forgiven.  
  
Skids patted his friend on the shoulder to console her, before looking at you. "We're going to do a couple of shots. Do you want to join us?"  
  
You shook your head. "No thank you. I’m done for the night."  
  
"If you wait a moment, I can drive you to your habsuite,” Skids offered.  
  
You shook your head. "Thank you for the offer, but I don’t mind walking. It’s not far."  
  
Skids was about to insist, but before he could, Ravage cut him off. "I'll walk them. I was on my way to Megatron’s habsuite anyway, before those two slaggers did something they’ll regret."  
  
You would accept his offer, but first, you had to do what you were originally planning. You walked up to Ravage, with confidence this time. You grabbed the rod that was stuck between his back joints, and yanked it out. You threw the rod on the floor, and it clattered before rolling away. Ravage stretched his back just like cats on Earth did, and you had to remind yourself that he was a bot like Skids or Nautica.  
  
When he was done stretching, he turned to you and nodded to the bar's exit. "Ready to go?"  
  
"Lead the way,” you said.  
  
The two of you left the bar together. You were walking down the immense hallway side-by-side, talking about this and that. You learned so much about Ravage - how he was just like any other mech, except how he was forged into this mechanimal-like body. So, he was like a man, you thought. Then you arrived at your habsuite, and turned to your new unusual friend.  
  
"Thank you for escorting me, Ravage… but I have to know, do you know the meaning of that plastic plant that was hanging above your head earlier?"  
  
"I must admit that I don't,” Ravage said.  
  
You smiled lightly, and leaned in towards him… but before you could do anything you might regret, you cupped Ravage's face between your palms, and looked into his red optics.  
  
"Is it okay if I kiss you? I won't go to the brig, or anything like that?"  
  
Ravage's optics twinkled, and he gave you a look that you would later realize was amusement. "You may kiss me."  
  
You smiled, and gently kissed the mech on his forehead.  
  
"A kiss for my hero,” you whispered.  
  
"You did it wrong."  
  
"Wha-?!"  
  
You were cut off as Ravage lunged forward, pressing his lips to yours. Your eyes widened in shock, but then you heard one of the most blessed noises there was. Purring. He was purring! You relaxed into the kiss at that soothing sound, and your eyes slid shut. The black mech was first to pull back, immensely enjoying the dazed look on your face.  
  
"You can find me at Megatron's quarters if you want to grab a drink tomorrow." He grinned, exposing his canines, before turning and leaving, his long tail flicking in amusement.  
  
You stared after Ravage, completely speechless after that kiss. The cat got your tongue.


	14. Christmas Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Vos untangle some lights. NON-CON/DUB-CON WARNING.

"Vos, please explain to me why the fuck you guys even have Christmas lights?" You asked in frustration as you tried to untangle the kinky line of multicolored lights.

The black mech in question replied in Primal Vernacular. You groaned, not understanding a single thing he had said. Tarn had assigned you two the task of setting up some lights, but no one had told you that the strings of lights were tangled so badly.

You felt like dumping the lights in the waste chute, and then ejecting them into outer space where they would never annoy you again. You got one knot undone, but then there was another, harder knot, and an undetermined number of even more knots. The little patience you had left came crumbling down.

"Enough! I quit!" You screamed in frustration before standing up and throwing the lights on the floor.

Vos glanced at you and said something, but you shook your head.

"No, screw this! You're the fucking DJD! Buy new lights! I'm out!"

Vos screeched something, but you wouldn't listen to him. You turned to leave when suddenly something tightened around your midsection, and you were yanked back so hard that you lost your footing. You fell on your ass, and cried out, as you had hit your tailbone hard. You glanced over your shoulder to see Vos holding the string of Christmas lights that he had tied into a lasso, still looped around your waist.

"Vos, what the fuck?!" You screamed.

The Con chirped something in Old Cybertronian. You scoffed, deciding not to stick around for a second longer. You pulled the loop over your head, got back up, and threw the lights at Vos' feet.

"If you want to untangle these, then be my guest! But don't drag me into it!"

Vos screeched something at you, pointing at all the lights around the two of you. But you had made up your mind. You painfully pushed yourself to stand, your tailbone still aching. You turned to limp out the door when the skinny Decepticon suddenly pounced on you like a cat, slamming you face first onto the metal floor.

The black and grey Con tore your clothes clean off your body as you struggled and screamed curses at him at the top of your lungs. You cried out in pain as he wrenched your arms behind your back to restrain you. Strength-wise, you were no match for a Cybertronian, even one as small and skinny as Vos. You had no hope of breaking free from his hold. He chittered something in your ear, and you clenched your teeth as you put all your strength into escaping him, but he just cruelly tightened his grip on your wrists, grinding your bones together as you gasped in pain. He kneeled on your back to keep you subdued as he reached for the abandoned lights. He tied your hands together, then easily pulled back your kicking legs to bind your feet to your hands. When he was done with you, he stood over you and said something that sounded very smug.

Vos had just hogtied you.

"Vos, if you want to hunt another traitor ever again, you untie me right this second!" You yelled as you wiggled in your bounds.

The con rubbed his chin, looking thoughtful before he grabbed your bound hands and feet to pull you towards his face.

"Biiiiite meee...!" Vos hissed with a gleam in his crimson optics.

"Vos, I-!" You were interrupted when Vos carelessly dropped you on the floor.

You lay there stunned for a moment. That had really hurt. You were about to give him a piece of your mind when he pushed a string of lights past your lips, effectively gagging you. You dared not speak for fear of breaking the glass bulbs that were now in your mouth. The Decepticon cackled, and you glared at him in pure fury.

You thought he would leave it at that, but no. He started to curiously explore your squishy organic body, squeezing and poking you carelessly. When his servos passed over your sensitive ribs, you couldn’t help but laugh, being careful to not to bite down on the lights. Vos cackled sadistically at how he had found your ticklish spot, but that wasn't enough for him. He wanted to punish you, humiliate you for talking back to him. So, his fingers wandered down your body to between your legs, where he found yet another similarity between humans and Cybertronians. You protested pitifully around your mouthful.

His servos examined and experimented, making you whimper and twitch in your bindings. Vos said something that you didn't catch, but you knew that he had said something perverted. When he inserted one, then two digits inside of you, you threw back your head and moaned. When his fingers twisted inside you, you cried out, your whole body twisting also. He inserted a third digit, pushing your body to the edge of pain. For punishment, it felt really good... So good that you were about to cum. You weren't protesting anymore, but instead pleading Vos to let you reach the point where you would come undone.

But just as you were about to cum, Vos pulled back. You whined at the loss. He didn't leave you like that though. He started to tickle you again. Hard. You screamed in laughter, your ab muscles spasming painfully. Your ribs were hurting because of how mercilessly he was digging his digits into them. You begged him to stop tickling you, but your begging was incomprehensible. You knew that Vos was sadistic, but was he hurting you on purpose? Or was he just unaware of how sensitive and fragile human bodies were? When he quit tickling you, you were panting wearily. Then he returned his attention to between your legs, and the whole ordeal started anew.

This kept going on for what felt like hours until the door to the room slid open, and Tarn stormed in.

"What the Pit is this?" He demanded as he looked at you and Vos.

You wanted to speak, but you were weak, sensitive, shivering, and gagged, so Tarn focused his attention on the mech torturing you.

"Vos, what is this?! I gave you a simple order to set up the lights, not tie the human up!"

Vos said something, and pointed a digit at you.

Tarn nodded. "So," Tarn said, fixing his red optics on you. “If you act like a brat as Vos says, you can expect to be reprimanded. Though you are just a human, I expect you to silently accept your punishment. Don’t disturb me with the sound of you screaming.”

Tarn called this punishment?? You were so sensitive and pent up that you could cum with the lightest touch. It was torture! Just what Vos excelled in. You looked at Tarn pleadingly, but he ignored you to talk to his team member.

"I understand that you had to reprimand them, but do you think it was necessary to do this?" The purple mech asked, gesturing at your nude and bound body.

Vos chirped, kneeling down by your side. He took your head between his servos, and turned your face towards Tarn. You could only imagine how pathetic you looked with drool dripping down your chin, eyes heavy with tears of frustration, and skin shining in a layer of sweat.

Vos said something that had Tarn looking at you and nodding. "Why yes, Vos, they do look more mellow now."

The huge purple Con considered you for a moment before making his decision. "Alright, do what you must, but finish quickly. We have located our next target."

With that said, Tarn turned around, leaving you to Vos’ mercy. Vos pressed his face close to yours, and you whimpered in defeat. You could see the sadistic mirth in his crimson optics as he slowly raised his hand to pull the line of lights out of your mouth.

"Beg...!" He hissed demandingly.

"Please, Vos, please, let me cum! I'm sorry I was rude! You were right! I'm sorry, I won't do it again, just please don't leave me like this! Please, please, please!"

He chuckled darkly as you kept begging him to let you cum, but then he shoved the string of Christmas lights back into your mouth. He stood up and walked towards the door, and you lost yourself. You were shouting and pleading incoherently as Vos turned off the overhead lights. Before he stepped out the door, he reached for the switch on the wall, flicking it on. The Christmas lights wrapped tightly around you lit up cheerily as Vos left, locking the door behind himself.


	15. Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have a bad day, but Rodimus knows how to fix it.

Your phone vibrated gently against your hip. Arching your brow in confusion, you slipped your phone out of your pocket, being careful to not disrupt Ultra Magnus. He had nothing against you using your phone for work purposes, as he often sent messages to your phone, seeing as you didn’t have a com-link built into your organic head.  
  
But this message couldn’t be from him, as he disapproved of distractions during official business. While Ultra Magnus listed the pros and cons of some new ration types, you unlocked your phone with your fingerprint, and covertly looked down to read the message.  
  
 _’Hey sexy~ How about you and me ditch this funeral and take it to my place?’  
_  
You couldn’t be any more unimpressed. With a straight face, you turned to look at Rodimus on the other side of the table. He grinned, knowing that you had read his message. Then he gave you quick finger guns. You frowned, and shook your head at him. You had to focus on the meeting. You were not in the mood to play around. Rodimus straight-up pouted like you had insulted his creator.

  
Your phone vibrated again. You noticed Megatron eyeing you from the edge of your vision, and you lifted your chin towards Rodimus. Megatron understood your gesture, and turned his attention back to Ultra Magnus while you checked Rodimus’ new message.  
  
 _’Why the cold shoulder? I could warm you up real nice!’  
_  
You ground your teeth together, tapping the screen maybe a little too hard to quickly write him a message.  
  
 _’What, you want to move this funeral to your room, and get it on with a carcass?’  
_  
You thought your reply was smart with a pinch of healthy self-loathing in it, but the pout you got from Rodimus said that he didn’t find your humor that funny. He sent you a new message.  
  
 _’No, I wanna get it on with my hot human who is alive and well.’  
_  
You replied to him immediately with a witty comeback.  
  
 _’They sound sweet. Do I know them?’  
_  
You could almost see the wheels turning and bolts popping in Rodimus’ head by the frustrated look on his face. You sighed, and put the phone away before you could get caught. It might keep vibrating with notifications, but you had decided to ignore all messages from now on. You would remain strong.  
  
When the meeting ended, you didn't stick around for further conversation. You shut down your phone without checking your messages. You quickly left the meeting room, and went straight to your habsuite. Once there, you fell face-first onto your bed. You just wanted to stay inside your suite and never leave it again. You could do it - you had everything here required to live.  
  
Suddenly, there was a ringing sound, and you lifted your face from your bed. Someone was at your suite’s door. You wanted to ignore the ringing, but it kept going on and on...!  
  
You jumped off of your bed, and went to open the door. Who else was behind the door but your captain. Rodimus smiled and waved at you.  
  
"Hi! Can I come in?"  
  
You stared at him with a blank expression, but you stepped aside as a silent invitation, and Rodimus entered your room. You shut the door behind him, so it was just you and him. You turned to look at him and were about to say something, but he beat you to it.  
  
"Is everything alright?" Rodimus asked.  
  
You blinked. "Yeah, why do you ask?"  
  
"Well, you haven't been yourself recently. Usually, you sass back at me good-naturedly, but now you have been acting as if you are stuck in a Halloween phase."  
  
"Rodimus, I-!"  
  
You quickly shut your mouth before you could say anything that you didn't mean. You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down to the best of your abilities. You groaned and rubbed your eyes in frustration as you turned away from your captain. Taking your silence as a sign to continue, Rodimus tried to reach out.  
  
"Hey, if there is something bothering you, then you can always talk about it with me. We're friends, right?"  
  
"I-!" You didn't know what to say and honestly, you didn't even want to talk. "Rodimus, I'm not in the mood for any idle talk."  
  
"It's that time on Earth, right? When families celebrate with their loved ones? I had a hunch, or Megatron did, that you might not be happy about being here and not on Earth,” Rodimus said.  
  
You shot him a furious glare as you lost your temper. "Yeah, I miss my family and friends, so what?! Now leave me alone!"  
  
You thought you meant it, but in reality the thought of Rodimus leaving now left you feeling even worse. You wished that he would stay with you a little longer, but you had already yelled at him and pushed him away.  
  
Rodimus looked at you sadly, and nodded. "Alright, I'll leave."  
  
Your heart ached, and you bit your lips, but Rodimus wasn't done.  
  
"I just want you to read the messages on your phone."  
  
You were biting your lip so hard that you could taste iron, but you walked over to your bed to where your phone lay on the bedside table. You unlocked your phone, and you were taken aback by all of the messages. One by one you opened them, and the more you read, the more your anger faded and more your heart warmed.  
  
 _ **Rung** :  
'You're by far the kindest human that has ever lived.'  
  
 **Drift** :  
'Your aura is beautiful and amazing, just like you.'  
  
 **Ratchet** :  
'You understand things others overlook.'  
 **  
Tailgate** :  
'You are super nice, and the most badass person I know!'  
  
 **Cyclonus** :  
'I enjoy our conversations and your singing.'  
  
 **Whirl** :  
'You make me hate life a little less."  
  
 **Brainstorm** :  
'You're an inspiration!'  
  
 **Nautica** :  
'You're so adorable and funny!'  
  
 **Megatron** :  
'You forgave me when others wouldn't.'  
  
 **Swerve** :  
'If you ever want we could be roomies!'  
  
 **Ultra Magnus** :  
'You always return your reports on time and in admirable condition.'  
  
 **Rewind** :  
'You're a great influence on Domey and me.'  
  
 **Chromedome** :  
'You make Rewind and me happy.'_  
  
"Everybody...!" You gasped through oncoming tears. Your lower lip was wobbling dangerously and you quickly rubbed your eyes with the sleeve of your shirt before tears could fall.  
  
Rodimus was watching you with a soft smile on his lips. "There is still my message."  
  
You sniffled and skipped to the last message on your phone.  
  
 _ **Rodimus** :  
’You have the prettiest eyes that twinkle brighter than stars when you laugh.'  
  
You thought that was it, but no, another message from Rodimus popped up!  
  
 **Rodimus** :  
'You come up with quick and witty responses that leave everyone laughing and smiling.'  
  
 **Rodimus** :  
'Your smile is highly contagious.'  
  
 **Rodimus** :  
'We would fight a Sparkeater for you.'  
  
 **Rodimus** :  
’We all love and care for you.'_  
  
That was it. Tears streamed down your cheeks. You turned to address Rodimus with your face bright red and wet with tears.  
  
"I'm sorry I snapped and yelled...!" You sobbed. "This is, this is my first Christmas without my family. I thought I was ready for it, but it hit me harder than I thought...!"  
  
"You have nothing to apologize for."  
  
Rodimus smiled, as he understood what you were going through. He bent down and opened his arms for you and you couldn't fight the temptation. You jumped up to hug him, and he held you close to his chassis, servo gently rubbing your back. You didn’t want to let go, you wanted to keep clinging onto him to absorb his affection. When you felt like you wouldn't cry anymore, you pulled back and wiped your sore eyes.  
  
"I still have something for you," Rodimus confessed.  
  
You looked at him with your eyes red from crying. "What is it?"  
  
"Give me your hands,” he instructed.  
  
The captain smiled before pulling something from his subspace to place it in your cupped hands. It felt cold and hard, with pointed edges. He pulled his servos back, and you looked at what he had given you.  
  
A Rodimus Star.  
  
You got a famous Rodimus Star. Freely given, but you had never gotten one before. You stared at the golden medal with eyes wide, then looked at Rodimus with confusion clear on your face.  
  
"It's a Rodimus Star."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Why are you giving me one?" You asked. "I was rude to you the whole day... I don't think I deserve it..."  
  
"Really, if anyone deserves that star it's you, but it will always be the second-best star on this ship,” he said with a huge grin,  
  
You frowned in confusion. "What's the best star?"  
  
Rodimus smiled so wide his denta showed. Your phone vibrated, signaling that you had a new message. You pulled your phone out of your pocket, and your eyes widened when you saw the message.  
  
 _ **Rodimus** :  
'You.'_  
  
You looked at Rodimus, but then there was another message.  
  
 _ **Rodimus**_ :  
 _'You light up the whole crew, and always show us the better way.'  
_  
"Rodimus..." You whispered.  
  
The red and yellow mech leaned down. "Yeah?"  
  
"This is so sweet that I’m going going to be sick," You confessed.  
  
The captain smiled. "Sweet, right?"  
  
"No, not sweet!" You said with a light laugh. "It's overly sweet!"  
  
"Better sweet than sour!" He laughed, before taking on a more serious look. "If you want, we have your family on the line in the control room. Wanna go and tell them how good we take care of you?"  
  
Your eyes widened in a mixture of shock and joy, and you nodded enthusiastically. Rodimus smiled and picked you up to set you on his shoulder, and you used your new position to your advantage by pressing a kiss to the side of his helm.  
  
"Thank you, captain,” you said gratefully.  
  
The red mech smiled. “Anytime.”  
  
He was about to step out of your habsuite, when you told him to wait.  
  
“Stand over there, close to the tree,” you requested.  
  
“Huh? Is here okay?” Rodimus asked, standing next to the artificial Christmas tree that was about half his height.  
  
“Just a little closer…” You said, reaching towards the tree.  
  
Rodimus leaned closer to the tree, holding onto your legs so that you wouldn’t fall off of his shoulder. You placed the Rodimus Star in the place of honor at the top of the tree.  
  
“There!” You exclaimed.  
  
Rodimus straightened up, and the two of you admired the twinkling and shifting colors of the fiberoptic lights, and the golden star perched at the point, with Rodimus’ likeness shining proudly.

  
“It’s perfect,” you said, trying to wrap your arms around Rodimus’ helm. 


	16. Christmas Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who would think a simple song could be so twisted?

After you had been taken by the Decepticon Justice Division, Tarn had gifted you with a new datapad. Tarn thought that you should learn the history and philosophy of the Decepticons by reading Megatron's Towards Peace.  
  
When you had told the purple Con that you couldn't read Cybertronian, you were hoping that he would leave it at that, but no, he went and had it translated to English. Gee, thanks Tarn. You had managed to avoid reading the it for a while, but now that you were a part of the DJD, or a mascot as Tesaurus called you, you couldn't put it off any longer.  
  
It wasn't as bad as you were expecting. Megatron appeared to truly care about this Terminus person. You became more and more invested in Towards Peace as time passed. You were actually so into it that you didn't notice the doors to the common area opening as the self-titled soldiers of righteousness returned from yet another hunt.  
  
"Ah, there you are!" Tarn exclaimed as he approached you.  
  
You managed to raise your head before Tarn suddenly ruffled your hair like you were some kind of a pet. Well, you kinda were, but not like The Pet. You actually could hold a decent conversation with these messed-up murderers.  
  
"You humans may be one of the most inferior organic species, but my, was I surprised and not to mention pleased to finally hear that you have converted to the Decepticon cause!” He crooned deeply from his chassis.  
  
You knew that you were immune to his voice that could easily kill a Cybertronian, but damn if it didn't make you shiver. Wait. What was he talking about?  
  
"Wait, what do you mean?"  
  
"Oh don't act coy, my little songbird! I heard you singing about us and our sacred mission yesterday! And now you're finally reading Towards Peace...! You're obviously devoted to us and our cause!"  
  
"Wait, Tarn, what song did you hear?" You asked, perplexed beyond belief.  
  
He grinned behind his mask, and told you everything that had occurred while they were gone...  
  
The traitor was trying to outrun their hunters, but a few well-aimed shots through their tires made it impossible for them to transform and escape. The mech tried to hide in the shadows of the wrecked spaceship's halls. For a moment they thought they were safe... until they heard it.  
  
It started off barely perceptible to the audial. A hum buzzed in the air, followed by whispers, and the traitor's legs wobbled dangerously as the fear immobilized them.  
  
 _You better watch out  
You better not cry  
You better not pout  
I'm telling you why  
DJD is coming to town_  
  
The mech's legs gave out, and the pain in their chassis grew as the singing grew louder.  
  
 _We're making a list  
We're checking it twice  
We're gonna find out who's naughty or nice  
DJD is coming to town  
We see you when you're sleeping  
And we know when you're awake  
We know if you've been bad or good  
So be good for goodness sake_  
  
The mech desperately tried to crawl to safety, but it was too late. A ped slammed down on their back, crushing them against the cold hard floor. The Decepticon Justice Division had them surrounded.  
  
"M- Mercy!" The mech pleaded, but their prayers were futile.  
  
When DJD had their target, they never let them go.  
  
"And that is how we caught the traitor!" Tarn said.  
  
Your blood was cold from the thought of an innocent Christmas carol being mutilated into this chilling nightmare-fueled song. You realized that you had more power over the murderous giant robots than you thought. This much power came with a huge responsibility.  
  
"Tarn,” you said to catch your feared leader's attention.  
  
"What is it, my little songbird?"  
  
"I want something."  
  
Tarn blinked behind his mask. "Well, usually I would have you fill in the request form to apply for accommodation... But as you have been so well behaved lately, I'm willing to take your request personally, here and now. What do you want?"  
  
"I want my own room!"  
  
It was no secret that you didn't have your own room. You had to share a mattress with The Pet and as much as that thing loved you, you didn't love the way it drooled all over you. Also, it was hard to fall asleep when Kaon was staring at you - even if he didn't have any optics to stare with... Tarn's optics focused on you, and you started to sweat, but you wouldn't budge.  
  
"On one condition!" He warned.  
  
You stilled before nodding. "Anything."  
  
"You must sing whenever I want, and sing for as long as I desire."  
  
"Deal!"  
  
Screw responsibility, you were getting your own room!


	17. Reindeer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who wants to pet the Reindeer?

You were staring at your reflection in the mirror. You patted your tummy, flexed your arms, and turned to look over your shoulder at your butt. You loved your new Christmas underwear. You giggled to yourself at the printed message ‘On the 12th Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me THE D’. You were a little bigger than most humans would have found attractive, but when you looked in the mirror you saw...  
  
"You're so beautiful…” Chromedome sighed from where he sat, leaning up against your bed.  
  
Rewind's helm snapped to look at his lover.  
  
"Beautiful? No, they're handsome!" The minibot argued back from where he was lying on your bed.  
  
The bigger bot looked at his lover. "Rewind, they are cute, just like you."  
  
"No Domey, they are as hot as you are!"  
  
"Guys, guys, please don't fight," you said to get their attention. Both bots turned to look at you and you shook your head. "I'm not handsome or beautiful..."  
  
Both bots jumped to their peds, ready to protest and shower you with even more compliments, but before they made it to your side, you smiled and kicked your leg behind you, throwing your hands high in the air.  
  
"I'm BOTH! And absolutely fabulous!" You cheered.  
  
You struck a cute pose that you had seen in some cute cartoon. As you moved your body jiggled lightly with you, but that didn't bother you, nor your adoring lovers. So what if you were a little bigger? There was just more to love.  
  
"There ain't another human just like me!"  
  
"Or as modest." Rewind grinned.  
  
You stuck your tongue out at him. "You love it when I brag."  
  
Chromedome pointed at the clothing bag next to your mirror. "What have you got there? We saw you order it, but you never told us what you got?"  
  
"Oh, wouldn't you like to know?" You grinned like a turbofox, picking up the bag.  
  
"I'll show you once I'm done! Just go have a drink at Swerve's while I prepare your surprise!" You ordered.  
  
Then you straight up pushed Rewind and Chromedome out of your shared habsuite. The two lovers glanced at each other, wordlessly deciding to do as you said.  
  
The mechs passed time at Swerve’s trying to guess what you had in that bag of yours. Before they knew it, an hour had passed. They were sure that was enough time for you to get ready, so they finished their glasses of engex before leaving the bar. When they made it to the suite's door, there was a handwritten note stuck to the door. As the note was on his level, Rewind took the note and read it out loud.  
  
"North Pole. Enter at your own risk?"  
  
The two of them glanced at each other, and together made the decision to enter at their own risk. They entered the code and walked in... and if they have had visible mouths, you would see them hanging wide open. You were in front of the mirror again, but this time you had put on something to wear. Only it didn't cover any of your ‘naughty bits’.  
  
You were wearing a red body harness with thick straps across your back and framing your bare butt… that was popping thanks to the tight straps pushing it up. You had a cute fluffy brown and white tail positioned above your butt. You were also wearing a headband with reindeer antlers and fluffy brown and white ears. You turned your head to look at them over your shoulder, and the little gold bells on the antlers jingled. Your eyes were lined, and you even had a little red heart painted on the tip of your nose. You winked at your bot lovers.  
  
"About time you two got back,” you crooned as you turned around to face them.  
  
Both bots' visors flashed as they took in your front. The straps of the harness defined your chest, and the body harness was…. crotchless!  
  
"So?" You asked coyly, before twirling around and striking a typical cat pose, completely ignoring the fact that you were obviously dressed as a sexy reindeer. "Who wants to pet me?"  
  
The mechs glanced at each other, and you could almost hear the argument they had going on in their private commlink.  
  
"Boys, boys! You can share!" You grinned and turned around to wiggle your butt at them temptingly.  
  
Your reindeer tail just drew their optics to your bare butt. Your lovers glanced at each other, and nodded in unison.  
  
"I'll take the aft,” Chromedome said.  
  
Rewind nodded. "I'll take the mouth."  
  
"Come and claim them!" You laughed.  
  
You turned tail and ran as they came after you in unison. Chromedome easily caught you, being careful to grab you gently. You screamed as he tossed you on the bed. Rewind threw himself onto the bed next to you, and you bounced up as he landed. You rolled over onto your stomach, then pushed yourself up on your hands and knees. Chromedome settled himself behind you, and Rewind took his spot in front of your face.  
  
"Oh, I'm going to enjoy this...!" You sighed as you palmed Rewind's warm modesty plating.  
  
You heard a soft click, and you looked up to see Rewind's red camera light gleaming as he started recording. The minibot noticed you looking, and you could tell that he was grinning by how his blue visor shone.  
  
"You don't mind if I film this, do you?" He asked.  
  
You replied by leaning down and kissing his panel. "Make sure to get my good side."  
  
"All your sides are good sides."  
  
"Hell yeah! I am- Oh!"  
  
Something heavy had fallen on you. You glanced over your shoulder to see that Chromedome had opened his panel, his spike now resting on your butt cheeks and lower back. You giggled lightly as raised your hips to tempt him.  
  
"You doing okay there, big guy?"  
  
"Yeah. Yeah, I just...! Primus, I love your aft...!" Chromedome groaned.  
  
He palmed your butt cheeks with his servos, squeezing your plump skin. You moaned lightly, enjoying the erotic massage. Then you felt Chromedome position his spike into the space between your thighs. He thrust forward, slowly starting to fuck your thighs. You squeezed your thighs together to increase the pressure. You heard a click by your ear, and turned to address Rewind, when his spike suddenly poked your nose.  
  
"Sorry,” the minibot apologized.  
  
But by the way he poked the tip of his spike against your lips pretty much gave away where he wanted it. You smiled coyly, and kissed the tip before you started to lick and lap at it. Rewind groaned, and his servo twisted into your hair, minding the antlers. You took him in your mouth with great gusto.  
  
Chromedome's servos kneaded your butt as his spike rubbed furiously between your thighs. The transfluids leaking from his spike made great lubricant. So great in fact that when he started rubbing against your sex, you moaned around the minibot's spike. While Chromedome got lost in your luscious thighs, Rewind was trying his hardest to focus on you and not let his helm fall back in pleasure. He had to film the way the tip of his spike was poking the inside of your cheek and showing from the outside. You swallowed Rewind’s entire spike, and he called out for his god. Chromedome was losing his rhythm as he watched you deep-throating Rewind’s spike.

You could tell that Chromedome would overload soon. So would you with the way the tip of his spike kept rubbing against you and nearly penetrating you, driving you wild with desire. You wondered if you could make them come at the same time. So, as you squeezed your thighs harder together and pushed back against Chromedome, you swallowed Rewind deeper, moaning and swallowing around your mouthful, the vibrations and pressure driving Rewind crazy.  
  
None of you lasted much longer. Chromedome pulled out just as he overloaded, so that his transfluids sprayed across your bare back. You were sure that Rewind would want to overload inside your mouth, but just like Chromedome, Rewind also pulled out just as he was about to overload. His transfluids splashed all over your face and gaping mouth. You still needed the final touch that would make you cum, so you snuck your hand between your legs to rub yourself furiously. You whined out loud as your orgasm shook your body and made your nerves tingle.  
  
Both mechs fell back on their afts in exhaustion. You laid facedown, covered in transfluid, breathing deeply to catch your breath. After a couple of minutes of rest, you sat up, wiping the transfluild from under your eyes. You were happy that you had managed to close your eyes before your shorter lover overloaded. You could feel the transfluid on your back drip downwards, but you felt your back being wiped clean before you could address the situation yourself. You glanced over your shoulder to see Chromedome holding a towel.  
  
"Sorry about that,” he apologized.  
  
You just smiled. "It's okay, thank you!"  
  
You grinned as you looked at Rewind. He had stopped recording, and was replaying the sexy video he had recorded.  
  
"That finish? Primus...!" Rewind gasped like a runner out of breath.  
  
You laughed. You threw your legs over the bed and jumped off. You went straight to the mirror, and took in your disheveled look. You grinned confidently.  
  
"Still fabulous!"


	18. Christmas Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get naughty during a movie night with your hot girlfriend.

"It's the most, It's the hap-happiest season of all, with those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings, when friends come to call, it's the hap-happiest season of all--!" You were singing as you made your way to your girlfriend's workplace to pick her up.  
  
You didn't bother messaging her, you just entered the medbay and there she was, looking over some paperwork on a datapad.  
  
"How is my amazing doctor girlfriend who saves lives and cures every ache and pain?" You asked as you walked up to Velocity.  
  
The medic turned to look at you and smiled.  
  
"Hi there, kitten!" She greeted you.  
  
You instantly cringed at the pet name. You should have never shown her pictures of cats… but as much as the name made you cringe, she called you it with love in her voice. You smiled and motioned her to pick you up. When she did, you pecked her on the cheek.  
  
"Are you ready to head to the Christmas movie night at Swerve's?" You asked.  
  
She nodded. "Sure! I'll just put this datapad away.. and I'm done! Let's go!"  
  
The two of you went to the bar, where mechs were taking their seats in front of a screen at least twice the size of a movie theatre screen on Earth. Rewind and Swerve were getting the movie ready. You and Velocity were looking for a place to sit when Nautica hollered the two of you over. The two of you hurried over to grab the free seat.  
  
"Hi Nautica!" You greeted the violet femme.  
  
She smiled at you and your girlfriend. "Still going strong I see!"  
  
"It's like a never-ending honeymoon!" Velocity cheered.  
  
You laughed. "We aren't married!"  
  
"Yet!" Nautica grinned and winked at you.  
  
You stuck your tongue out at her. Then the lights turned off one by one, and everyone quieted down. Swerve and Rewind called out to get everyone's attention.  
  
"Okay, everyone, we are watching a classic Earth movie, Nightmare Before Christmas!" Swerve yelled excitedly.  
  
"Ooh, this one is my favorite!" You squealed.  
  
Velocity smiled at you. "If you like it, then it must be good! What is this movie about?"  
  
"It's a story about skeleton and Santa Claus-! Wait, no, no spoilers!" You snapped your mouth shut, and zipped it.  
  
She giggled. "You're adorable!"  
  
The movie started, and memories from your childhood flooded into you with each song. It was a good movie. You wondered what Velocity thought of it, so you glanced at her and your breath stilled. She was so beautiful in the faint light, her yellow optics creating a golden glow on her face.  
  
She was smiling from ear to ear with almost a child-like joy as she watched the movie. The movie that you should also be watching, but honestly, you couldn't care less. Velocity must have sensed your gaze, because she glanced at you to find you staring at her.  
  
"Is something wrong, kitten?" She asked.  
  
You smiled at her dreamily. "You're just so pretty."  
  
Velocity snorted, but there was a light blush on her cheeks that you almost missed in the dark. "Thanks, kitten."  
  
You weren't done. "Have I ever told you how much I love your smile?"  
  
"A couple of times."  
  
She giggled, and you grinned wider, seeing her bless you with her beautiful smile.  
  
"I love the way your optics shine when you're happy-! See? Just like that!"  
  
You pointed at her optics, and she blushed even harder, before hiding her face behind her servos.  
  
"Please stop, I don't think I can handle anymore...!" She mumbled against her servos.  
  
You smiled before reaching for her servos. You pulled them to you so you could kiss the tips of her digits. Velocity blushed.  
  
You leaned closer to whisper to her, "If you allow me, I would love to show just how much I love you."  
  
"W- what?!" She yelped, and was immediately shushed by a few bots. She lowered her voice to a whisper, "In here? With everyone around us?!"  
  
You glanced at Nautica behind you, but she was way into the movie to notice. You grinned and kissed Velocity's servos one more time, before sneaking underneath the table and between her legs. Velocity fidgeted nervously, so you caressed her thigh to get her to calm down. She was still nervous, but now at least she wasn't as obvious about it.  
  
You leaned in to kiss her modesty panels before you started to massage the slowly heating metal. The protective layer slid aside, and you got a front-row seat to your girlfriend's beautiful valve. You were feeling a little mischievous, so you blew some cool air against her valve.  
  
The reaction was instantaneous.  
  
Her valve twitched, and her biolights flashed. You grinned, and decided to try something different. You stroked her valve's folds with your nimble fingers, while your lips wrapped around her anterior node, giving it a light suck.  
  
Velocity's leg jerked up, almost hitting your head, but it hit the table instead. Good thing, because that would have knocked you out with a concussion. You heard her sheepishly say sorry, but you couldn't see who she had apologized to. You had better work fast. You placed your fingers against her anterior node, starting to gently massage it, as your other hand started to stroke her folds.  
  
The danger of getting caught was usually either a turn-off or turn-on. This appeared to be the latter for Velocity. Her valve was soaking wet, and you could feel her frame heating, due to not being able to activate her cooling fans without attracting unwanted attention. You pulled your hand back, and wrapped your lips around your lover's node instead. You began to suck in the rhythm of your rubbing, stroking, and pushing hands.  
  
It came to an end sooner than you expected. You were by no means complaining if your partner was that sensitive. Her valve tightened and pulsed, and then transfluid covered your hands. Looking at the bright fluid covering her crotch and inner thighs, you came to the conclusion that you couldn't let her walk out looking like that.  
  
So like every good partner, you started to clean her up with your tongue. When you were done, you noticed that your girlfriend’s frame was holding some serious charge. Poor Velocity… she must have been so sensitive. You could handle that later. So, when you emerged from under the table you weren't surprised to see the final scene where Sally and Jack kiss. You looked over at Velocity, and saw that she was a blushing mess.  
  
You leaned close to her, took her servos in your hands, and kissed them gently. This seemed to bring her back to her senses, just as the lights came back on. She turned to look at you, and you swore, she had the cutest smile ever.  
  
"Is the movie over?" She asked.  
  
You snorted. "Yes, the movie ended."  
  
"Aww, what a shame..." Velocity pouted, then started grinning from ear to…. er, audial to audial. "I was wondering if there could be a continuation….? Because I would be interested, kitten."  
  
You blinked before smiling, and leaning in to whisper to her. "That can be arranged." 


	19. Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Helex have a warming meeting.

Helex was glaring at you again, and you had no idea why. You knew that some members of the DJD might not have been as happy as Tarn or Kaon were to have you with them as a little pet-slash-mascot… but did it really give them a reason to look at you like they wanted you dead?

You had no clue why he hated you… Maybe he thought you might take off and try to escape the infamous Decepticon Justice Division, but why would you even try? You knew from experience that no one escaped them - even if they did run they were dead within 24 hours. Besides, where the fuck would you go on this God-forsaken planet?

There was nothing but snow, and guess what, more snow as far as your eyes could see. You were absolutely frozen! Your feet had sunken into the snow up to your knees, and the temperature was way below zero. Your teeth were chattering uncontrollably, and you rubbed your arms in a futile attempt to warm yourself up. Why in the name of Earth did Kaon insist that you join them on this trip?

"K-K-K-Kaon...?" You stuttered.

The eyeless mech looked at you over his datapad. He wasn't even affected by the freezing temperature. "What is it, Sweetie?"

"W-w-when do we return t-t-to the s-s-ship...?" You slurred, your lips and tongue numb from the cold.

"As soon as I get this signal. You can wait that long, can't you?" He asked.

You scoffed, your breath coming out in a cloud of steam. When you were a kid, you would have imagined yourself to be a dragon, but as an adult, you were sick of this sub-zero climate.

The moisture in your breath that hit your scarf had frozen over into bright white ice. You bet that if you didn't have your beanie, your hair would also have frozen solid. You were about to object to Kaon, ready to whine, cry, and throw a temper tantrum if that meant you would be taken pity on...

But just as you were about to protest out loud, you were picked up from the snow by the collar of your jacket, just like a mama cat would pick up her kitten. You kicked your legs and twisted around in the air to see that you were picked up by the second-largest Decepticon of the DJD.

"H-h-hey, what the hell?!" You yelled.

You froze in terror when you heard a hiss as Helex's smelting chamber opened, and you were dropped inside. You didn't even manage to sit up before the chamber snapped shut, and you were overtaken by horror.

This was it. Helex was finally done with your bullshit. He was going kill you! You wouldn't even melt like Cybertronians would - he would cook you alive! The Pet was going to eat your cooked remains…!

You immediately jumped to your feet, and started to scream and bang your fists against the glass dome. But if the glass didn't break when a traitor would bang on it, then how would it break when you, a feeble human, tried to escape? The chamber started to heat up, and you started banging on the glass frantically, screaming to be let out.

Kaon glanced at you, but he made no move to stop Helex. You thought your end was near when the huge Decepticon suddenly knocked on his chamber with his smaller set of hands.

"Quiet down! I'm not killing you! I’m helping!" He yelled at you.

You froze because you couldn't believe him. But as time passed, you noticed that the temperature wasn't rising anymore. It was comfortably warm. You could feel your frozen fingers tingle painfully as they warmed up, and how the snow in your boots melted and soaked your socks.

Your breathing began to slow, and you sat down with your back against Helex's chest. The warmth was soothing and just perfect... Too perfect in fact. You started to nod off. You tried to force yourself to stay awake, but you quickly realized that you were fighting a battle you couldn't win. You gazed at the snowy lands through the fogged-up glass. Your eyelids became heavier and heavier as the minutes passed. When they finally slid shut you fell into dreamlands...

Slowly, you came back to your senses. You looked around. You were in your room onboard the Peaceful Tyranny. As you rubbed the rest of the sleep from your eyes, you noticed that you were buck-naked, save for a blanket that was wrapped around your body. You jumped and yelped in surprise, and that attracted the attention of your company.

"You're finally awake."

You turned, and saw Helex leaning against the wall by the door, his crimson optics locked on you. You flinched and wrapped the blanket tighter around you, but he only scoffed.

"There's nothing I haven't seen already. Who do you think took off your clothes?"

Oh. You blushed hard. You felt so awkward at the thought of a Cybertronian, especially Helex, seeing your naked human body. Despite your embarrassment, you were grateful that Helex had probably saved you from hypothermia or even death by doing what he did. But you still stayed burrowed in the blanket.

Helex rolled his optics. "Suit yourself."

You saw him leaving your habsuite, and suddenly you felt this overwhelming need to have him closer. You wondered why. Was it because he had saved you, or was there an unknown, deeper reason? You didn't know, but you cried after him.

"Helex, wait!"

The huge con stopped and turned to look at you, and for some reason, your heart throbbed so hard that it was almost painful.

"I- I- uh..."

You didn't know what to say. The words seemed to have evaporated, and your mind had gone blank. Did you like him or not? You had stuttered before going silent, but Helex seemed to understand anyway. He walked to you, his huge set of arms reaching for you. You didn't fight it when he unwrapped you from the blanket before cradling you in his hands to lift you to his face.

"Don't worry,” he assured you as his bigger arms moved to support your upper body, and his smaller hands spread your legs open before him. You had never felt so exposed, but somehow it just felt so right with Helex.

"I'll warm you up,” he promised, and then dived right in.

"Helex-Aah!" You cried out.

His mouth completely covered your sex. His mouth was warm, no, hot, just like the rest of him. You whined embarrassingly loudly. Your head rolled back as he flattened his glossa, marking a wide section of your sex. You whined and cried, feeling wanton and debauched as he pleasured you with his huge glossa. His hot and moist glossa swirled around, mapping your most sensitive spots before focusing his attention on them. Your upper body twisted in his large servos, and your legs shook and clenched, but he held them wide open.

"H-Helex, I'm- I'm going to-!" You gasped as a shiver passed through your body.

You were sure that Helex had shown you everything he had, but then he moaned on your sex, the vibrations intense, and your body spasmed as you came. Your body fell limp in his arms.

  
He pulled back with a satisfied smile. "You were... Delicious.”

You jolted awake in a hot sweat, and looked around in bewilderment. You were alone in your suite, sitting on your bed with your clothes on. You looked around carefully, but there was no sign that anything of note had happened. Was it all just a dream? Suddenly your stomach growled, and you grimaced at the feeling of nausea. You had to eat something. You jumped from your bed and took a couple of steps before you noticed something crucial.

You had no underwear on.


	20. Christmas Wish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You just wish for your lover’s happiness.

Brainstorm was watching him again. You were both in the mess hall on your lunch break. While you were taking an occasional bite out of your hamburger, your lover Brainstorm's attention was somewhere else than on his energon rations. He had his chin resting in his servos, and he sighed like a lovestruck fool. You followed his gaze and saw Perceptor on the other side of the hall, getting his own rations.

"You're staring,” you pointed out before taking a long sip of your soda.

Brainstorm jolted like you had tased him with an energon prod. He turned to look at you.

"Have you seen him!? Percy is like a work of Primus - brilliant mind and hot! We should totally date him!"

He wasn't even trying to cover his crush on the other scientist. It should piss you off, or at least bother you, but you knew what you were getting into when you started going out with him. You were rather smart (for a human), but you knew that you could never compete with Brainstorm or Perceptor when it came to the battle of brains.

"I mean, you and I are pretty awesome together, but imagine what we could be with Perceptor? The chances and opportunities are limitless!" He babbled excitingly.

You chomped down the rest of your burger before taking an idle sip of your drink. He started saying something really flattering about the red mech and you smiled.

It should bother you that your lover was looking at other bots... But when he looked at Perceptor with this amazing glint in his golden optics, you couldn't help but fall for him again, time after time. You had always loved how lively and quirky Brainstorm was, so when one day he came to you and asked if you would date him, you accepted him immediately. It was a wish come true.

He was absolutely lovestruck with you, and would talk to you for hours about science and some crazy weapon ideas he had. He loved it when you suggested something equally crazy. He would compliment you for your ideas, and call you his little Pistol. A weird nickname given by an equally weird bot.

But you always noticed how he acted towards Perceptor. He would try to impress the other scientist, bragging like a peacock. It always worked on you, but Perceptor might have higher standards. So, when the red mech ignored his advances, you would look at Brainstorm for signs of defeat, but he always kept smiling. You loved him and wanted him to have anything or anyone he wanted. You wanted to make his wish come true.

"Are you going to eat, or go on a hunger strike?" You asked with a mischievous smile.

Brainstorm snapped out of his thoughtful daze, and took off his mask to refuel. You loved him with a mask on, but without a mask…. damn if he didn't have the most beautiful lips. You watched him refuel, your mind wandering. You must have zoned out, because suddenly you felt his soft lips on your forehead, and you jolted back to reality.

"Sneak attack!" Brainstorm grinned at you before putting his mask back on. "Shanix for your thoughts?"

You smiled and shook your head. "Just trying to figure out something."

"Need a brain? I have a huge one, so I could help!" He grinned.

You snorted, overtaken by how adorable he was. You were about to ask just what he had on his mind when you noticed Perceptor leaving the mess hall.

"Gotta go! See you later Brains!"

You quickly collected your stuff and ran out of the mess hall to chase after Perceptor. You needed to talk to him. If your plan worked, then Brainstorm would be happy for the rest of his long life.

"Perceptor!" You shouted.

The red mech stopped immediately as he turned to address you. "Liason? Is something wrong? Can I assist you in any way?"

You nodded seriously, looking into his optics. "Yes. I need to talk to you about something."

He nodded, and motioned for you to continue.

"It's about Brainstorm. How do you feel about him?"

"Brainstorm?" Perceptor echoed. "He is a wild card, but also a brilliant mind, and not to mention--!"

He started to name all sorts of characteristics about your lover, and while some were questionable most were good things. He recognized Brainstorm as his equal. That was a good start in your mind.

You thought that he had no deep feelings for Brainstorm, until you saw the smile rise to Perceptor's face the more he talked about Brainstorm. You felt nostalgia hit you, having a flashback to that moment when you and Brainstorm started to date. Perceptor was still talking when you interrupted him.

"What would you do if I told you that he loves you?" You said with a smile.

Perceptor quieted down. You could almost see the gears in his helm turning, but after a moment he gave you his reply. You smiled, told him to follow his spark and that his wish might just come true.

Brainstorm and Perceptor thought that they were alone in the lab together, but you were hiding around on the other side of a shelving unit, watching the two scientists talk. You heard Perceptor confess that he would like to be more than just a lab partner to the flyer. Brainstorm didn't waste any time. He immediately jumped against Perceptor to wrap his arms around him in a huge hug.

You smiled, but you weren't happy exactly. It's a bittersweet feeling, seeing your loved one choose another over you. Many would lose their minds in jealousy and heartbreak, but you didn't. When you truly loved someone, you were ready to put their happiness over yours. Even if it meant losing them. That was just how much you loved Brainstorm.

But damn did it hurt to do the right thing.

You felt your throat tightening, the tell-tale sign that you were about to start crying. You swallowed hard, but that didn't fix it. As the first sob passed your lips, and the first tear streamed down your cheek, you smiled as you looked at Brainstorm one more time before turning and leaving...

Looks like you were going to be spending Christmas all alone. You were planning on burying your heartbreak beneath a pint of candycane ice cream, when suddenly your feet were swiped off the ground and you were tossed into the air! You yelped and threw out your arms to grab hold of something. There was a chuckle, and you looked up to see Brainstorm holding you against his chassis. You blinked owlishly. Then Perceptor walked over to stand before you two.

"Where did you think you were going?" Brainstorm asked.

You could tell that he was smiling by the way his optics gleamed. You glanceed between him and Perceptor in clear confusion.

"Wh-why??"

"Did you think that you could just leave me like that?" Brainstorm asked.

"But..!" You choked. "But I thought you loved Perceptor?"

"What gave you the idea that I don’t also love you?" The blue and white scientist asked.

You frowned. "You're always admiring Perceptor, and telling me how you want to date him. I decided to just remove myself from the picture so you could be happy..."

"Silly! I never said that I should date only him! I always included you in my wish,” he said.

Your mind went blank in shock and surprise. You started thinking about all of the conversations that revolved around Perceptor. You realized that Brainstorm was right. He always included you in his wish of dating the former Wrecker.

Tears rose and fell before you could stop them. Perceptor immediately stepped closer to the two of you, and you were cradled between him and Brainstorm.

"What's wrong!? Are you hurt!?" Brainstorm cried out in fear.

He held you closer as you cried violently.

"I'm just so relieved I was wrong...!" You sobbed.

Your face was burning, and you tried to violently wipe the tears with your shirt's sleeves. Your heart felt heavy with feelings, but your new lovers wouldn't let it drag you below the surface. After crying for a solid five minutes, you calmed down finally. You looked up at the bots hovering over you, and smiled shakily.

"If you will, will you have me as your lover? Both of you?" You asked with a small smile.

The bots hugged you close to their sparks. You felt so unbelievingly happy. Your Christmas wish came true, but it was better than you could have ever predicted.

"We love you,” they said in unison.

You hiccupped wetly. "Love you too."


	21. Christmas Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Ten decorate a Christmas Tree.

"You know Ten, this really reminds me of home,” you said.  
  
You watched as a huge yellow bot picked up a Christmas tree that was maybe a foot or two taller than him and put it in the stand. The tree was huge and absolutely fake, but damn it was impressive. Now you just had to decorate the big thing and make it look good.  
  
You turned to look at the box you got from the warehouse and took a peek inside. You couldn't believe it. There was nothing that could be used as Christmas decorations!  
  
"What the actual hell?" You thought out loud.  
  
Ten looked at you worriedly. "Ten?"  
  
"I mean-! Look, there are hangers, clothespins, balls of yarn, fabric, and more random stuff! I mean, are we knitting or washing my clothes?"  
  
Ten came to you to take a look at the items in the box. He immediately beamed as if you had just given him an early Christmas present. He said something that you didn't catch before quickly running out of the hall, leaving you alone with the useless junk. You were pissed that you had been duped by the alien merchant peddling human goods. But then Ten suddenly returned with a box of his own.  
  
"What you got there, big guy?" You asked.  
  
The former Legislator sat in front of you, and put the box down between the two of you. Ten motioned for you to open the box, and you did as he suggested. You blinked at what you saw. Paint, glitter, glue, ribbons, small crystals, and other handy stuff for arts and crafts.  
  
"Ten, what is all of this?" You asked.  
  
The yellow bot picked up some metal clothes hangers and started to bend and twist them. You watched in awe how your friend made something out of nothing. When Ten was finally finished, he presented you with a beautiful snowflake.  
  
"Wow! Ten, this is amazing!" You said as you dangled the ornament in the air.  
  
“Ten…” He rubbed the back of his neck.  
  
He was acting bashful, but you could tell that he was happy to get complimented. Next, he took the clothespins and glued them into a star shape. Then he sprayed them with gold paint and glitter.  
  
"Amazing!" You said in awe.  
  
Ten nodded in shy acknowledgment.  
  
You looked at him and smiled. "Can I try?"  
  
"Ten!" Ten nodded excitably.  
  
He gave you hangers and clothespins, along with glue and paint. You tried to copy his method of bending the hangers into snowflake shapes, but you were having a lot of difficulties. You set them aside for Ten to finish, as he had stronger and more skilled servos. But you were able to copy his clothespins stars. You sprayed them gold, and then dusted them with gold glitter. You felt proud of your creations. You glanced at Ten, and smiled at the adorable red and white pom-poms he had made from the yarn.  
  
"Ten, those are so freaking cute!" You squealed.  
  
You picked up one of the fluffy balls he had made. It was the size of your head if not a little bigger, but it was perfect for the oversized Christmas tree. Ten repeated his name, and you could hear the happiness in his voice. You smiled. When Ten sounded happy, you felt happy. He got a lot of dirt thrown at him for only being able to say the number that became his name. But no matter what anyone else thought, you really liked him and considered him a friend. He was genuine and kind. His bigger build may have frightened some people, but you knew that he wasn't into destroying things or causing havoc. No, Ten had a gentle soul, er, spark.  
  
"Ten."  
  
You snapped out of your thoughts, and turned to look at the yellow bot. You almost gasped out loud. Ten was holding the most intricate gold and silver star ornament you had ever seen. He had twisted, weaved, and knotted gold and silver ribbon into a giant star shape the size of his head. You stood up to see the finer details. You could tell that there were some Celtic-style knots. How on Earth did Ten know about Celtic knots? Was that a universal thing? No matter, it was gorgeous.  
  
"It's gorgeous, Ten,” you breathed.  
  
The former Legislator nodded humbly. "Ten."  
  
"Let's make some more, and then we can decorate the tree!"  
  
"Ten!"  
  
The two of you worked in peaceful cooperation. You had to ask Ten a few times how to do something. He couldn't tell you, but he was happy to show you. So finally, after crafting decorations for a couple of hours, the two of you started to decorate the tree. You couldn't even reach halfway up the tree! So, when you were done with the bottom section of the tree, Ten picked you up to hold you so that you could decorate the top half of the tree as well. Ten even gave you the honor of putting the star on top of the tree.  
  
When you were finally done, you both took a step back to marvel at the decorated tree shining and glittering. You might be bold to say it, but that was the prettiest tree you had ever seen. You gazed in wonder at the result of your teamwork. Then the hall door slid open, and Rewind, Chromedome, and Swerve walked in.  
  
"Oh. My. Primus!" Swerve shouted, running to get a closer look at the tree. "An actual Christmas tree! I have only seen them in movies and Christmas tv specials!"  
  
"It is impressive," Chromedome admitted.  
  
Rewind filmed as he slowly walked around the tree, and panned up to the tip of the tree, zooming in on the shimmering star at the top. Rewind turned the camera on you to interview you.  
  
"Did you make all of the decorations yourself?"  
  
"No, no, no!" You shook your head in protest. You motioned towards Ten. "Ten made most of them, and showed me how to do them also!"  
  
"Ten did this?!" Swerve sounded surprised, even disbelieving.  
  
You nodded. "Yep! Ten is super talented and good with his hands!"  
  
At your side, Ten was covering his face shyly, but you couldn't steal credit for his brilliant ideas. You pointed out every single ornament Ten had made, and the other bots were awed at his skill and creativity. Ten was being shy and modest, but you wouldn't let him hide from the positive attention. Rewind and Chromedome actually called some mechs, and soon the whole hall was packed with Autobots who marveled at the tree decorated by Ten and you.  
  
You gazed at the stunning Christmas tree decorated with a unique hand and servo-crafted ornaments. The two of you had created something beautiful that really gave this plain hall a festive feeling. You turned to smile at Ten.  
  
"You know, the two of us make a great team,” you said.  
  
Ten nodded happily. "Ten!"


	22. Christmas Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your girlfriends take you out shopping and embarrass you.

The alien market planet was a perfect place to refuel the Lost Light and stock up on essential supplies, for mechs and yourself. You were excited when you found out that there was oxygen on the planet, so you didn't need to put on a spacesuit. As light and practical it was, thanks to Brainstorm, it didn't beat walking without it. For a while, you could imagine that you were back on Earth... If you didn't count the alien creatures all around you.

"So...!" Anode drawled as she and Lug followed close behind you. "Tell us one more time about this Earth holiday? Kree...?"

"Christmas. It's the holiday of peace, spending time with your family and friends, and celebrating the birth of the son of God – Christians’ God."

"I still don't understand how a woman can get pregnant when she wasn’t fragged,” Lug said. "You humans are weird."

"It's just the story." You chuckled. "Of course, you need to at least be making love. There are other methods to get pregnant also."

"Say it again?" Anode asked.

You quirked a brow at her. "What? Making love?"

"Oh, that sounds good." She smiled, leaning against Lug. "You know what I'm going to do to you today?"

"I have a hunch." The red bot smiled and they both shared giggles before kissing.

You looked at them in faux disgust, making gagging noises. "Please, save all of that sickening lovely-dovely display for in private, before I seriously puke."

The femmes pulled apart, but instead of taking your suggestion, they smiled widely at you.

"Sounds like someone's jealous!" Lug chuckled.

You blushed, protesting, "I am not!"

Anode laughed. "Sounds to me like someone needs kisses!"

"No! Stay back!" You acted scared as your lovers closed in. "I swear if you two try anything--!"

But it was too late. Anode picked you up and kissed your cheek, soon followed by Lug kissing your other cheek. You made grossed out noises and tried to fight against it, but they just kept smooching your cheeks until there was no fight left in you. Satisfied with their kiss attack, Anode placed you on the ground.

"Feeling better?" She asked.

You flipped her the bird. "Bite me,” you grumbled.

But there was no true malice or bite in your words. Only an embarrassed complaint, and a hot blush on your cheeks. The femmes smiled at you knowingly, but you turned away to keep on walking. You had to find the perfect presents for those two. This was their first Christmas, so you had to make it memorable.

You kept walking, looking for something that you thought Anode and Lug would like... When suddenly your lovers gasped before sweeping you off your feet as they ran. You yelped, but before you could ask what they were doing, you were taken into a store. An alien cashier greeted you in a language you didn't understand, and you smiled at them. Lug lowered you to the ground.

"You should try something from here!" Anode cheered.

Lug nodded in agreement with her Conjunx. "They look adorable."

Okay, that piqued your interest. You took a good look at what kind of a store you were taken into. You blushed hard. Racks of fine lingerie, glass shelves displaying perfumes, a make-up counter, and so many different frivolous things. You doubted that you would find your girlfriends' presents here.

"Guys, these are lingerie,” you said.

They smiled and nodded in unison. "Yes?"

“Nothing here fits you guys!" You blushed in denial.

"We aren't trying them on,” Lug said. "You are!"

"M-me!?" You couldn't believe what you were hearing. You shook your head before patting your burning cheeks. "I don't wear these kinds of things!"

"Please...?" Anode made her saddest puppy-dog eyes at you. "We really want to see you wearing it...?"

Dammit, why did you show them puppy videos? You stuttered and coughed, but you couldn’t help but grudgingly give in. You were pushed into the changing room, then they started throwing lingerie outfits over the curtain. You took a deep breath, swallowed your pride, and started to undress.

"Guys, this is embarrassing...!" You whined behind the curtain.

"You can do it!" Lug cheered.

The positive feedback was softening you. You grumbled, but you put on the first thing that your hand touched. It was an orange babydoll. You pulled it on before immediately taking it off to throw it over the curtain.

"Sorry, but this color is hurting my eyes, and it's four sizes too big!" You yelled.

"Try this one!" Anode yelled, barely giving you a heads up.

This one was a lovely blue color and sooo soft... but the straps were too long, so it looked ridiculous on you. Into the 'NO' pile it went. You tried so many different styles of lingerie, even an alien-styled one with room for six limbs… but it was a disaster (you were trapped for a while, and feared that you would have to be cut out of it). Until you came across this gorgeous sheer berry red maxi dress with slits up to your hips.

"Okay, I found one, what now?" You asked.

Lug answered, "Show us!"

"Now?!" You yelped.

"There aren't others here, you can show us!" Lug said eagerly.

Well... What’s the worst that could happen? You slid the curtains to the side and stepped out... only to see that there were other alien clients doing their business. You stepped back, just about to close the curtains when the worst thing happened. Anode let out a long wolf whistle that caught other all of the other patrons' attention. You scrambled back into the dressing room, snapping the curtains shut.

"You guys are the worst!" You yelled, blushing so hard that your ears felt hot.

You quickly stripped, and started to angrily put on your own clothes. When you were done, you rushed out of the store, avoiding eye contact with everyone. Lug and Anode tried to call after you, but you ran as fast as you could away from them, slipping into the masses of aliens walking in the marketplace. You knew your way to the ship. Lug and Anode could find their own way. When you got onboard, you made a beeline to your room. You were sulking there for Jesus knows how long before there was a knock on your door.

"Go away!" You yelled.

The knocking ceased.

"Hey… We're sorry that we tricked you..." Lug said from the other side of the door.

You scoffed, finding it disingenous how they were apologizing after doing it on purpose. "Go away!"

They didn't go away. They opened your door using your code, and you glared hard at them. Just as you were about to tell them to leave, they raised their hands in surrender. You growled, but they kneeled before you.

"We're sorry we embarrassed you..." Anode started.

"But we got you something. As an apology,” Lug finished.

You were still glaring at them, but you lowered your guard at the mention of a possible gift.

"What is it?" You asked.

They smiled in relief. Then Lug pulled out a golden box from her subspace. She gave the box to you and you lifted the lid, only to gasp out loud. It was the most intricate snowflake you had ever seen, made from clear glass that sparkled in the light.

"It's... Beautiful,” you whispered in awe.

Lug smiled. "That's a real diamond."

You jumped like you had been poked with a pin. "What!?"

"I'm a geologist! You should know that I know my way around these things." Lug laughed.

Anode took your hand and held it between her servos. "We wanted to apologize, and give you an early Christmas present."

"But..." You whispered sadly, "I didn't buy you guys anything..."

The two femmes shared a look, then Anode pulled a silver box from her subspace to give to you. You lifted the lid and peeled back the tissue paper. Your eyes widened at the sight. It was the sheer red dress that you had tried on before. You looked at your girlfriends.

"Why?" You said, feeling spoiled, and a little guilty.

"Well, you looked so alluring wearing it that we had to get it for you,” Anode said.

Lug grinned. "Wanna try it on? Now that we are alone, I mean?"

You blushed, but you put the diamond snowflake back in its box. You grabbed the delicate lingerie, and went to your bathroom to change. Lug and Anode waited for you eagerly. You shyly stepped out, very aware of how the sheer material showed everything. You were avoiding looking them in the optics, and you could feel a blush spread over your cheeks.

"You like this?"

Anode and Lug smiled and nodded furiously.

"Perfect!” Anode cheered.

You look gorgeous!" Lug gushed.

You smiled a little, feeling better about yourself. That was, until Lug picked you up and kissed your cheek while Anode kissed your other cheek.

"You look gorgeous,” Lug whispered before kissing your collarbone.

Anode smiled, and then kissed the top of your head. "Can we unwrap you? Pretty please?"

You blushed hotter and looked away bashfully as you nodded. You would let them have this one.


	23. Christmas Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You party with the Scavengers and maybe get some tail while you are at it!

Crazy Christmas stories usually started with work Christmas parties. You would drink yourself silly at the company’s expense. Somehow, you had always managed to keep your head even while drunk. Though you were like a cat in heat while drunk, you knew not to get too crazy at the company party. So, the most daring thing you had ever done was to make out with your team leader in the coat closet.  
  
Or was it your boss’ secretary? They had both been there at that wild after party that was a blur of lights, pounding music, and grinding bodies. At least that was the last thing you remembered before waking up with the both of them asleep in your bed, clinging onto you like you were their lifeline in the middle of the sea. Must have been a good night since they left smiling with promises to call you.  
  
That was the night you learned that there was an inner nymphomaniac in you. You weren't ashamed of it though. You had a good time with two cute co-workers and got their numbers. So maybe it wasn’t a good idea to hook up with co-workers… but there had been surprisingly little drama as a result. Anyway, all that was left behind, same as the planet Earth. Still, a shame that you hadn’t gotten any booty calls since you had joined the Scavengers.  
  
You were now an honorary Scavenger, traveling through space with these badass misfits. Truthfully, they were those who got left behind, for one reason or another. Or as your friend would call them, the first pancakes. She said that the first pancakes were the ones that got ruined, the ones that no one wanted to eat, so they were thrown away or fed to the dog. Luckily for these lost cause Cons, you never let a first pancake go to waste. The Scavengers, despite being former Decepticons, had their charms.  
  
Krok was the natural leader, owing to his ‘dad friend’ vibes. He really did care for every single team member. He would try to keep you all out of trouble, and failing that, he would at least try to save you from whatever mess you got yourself in.  
  
Spinister was so stupid that he actually built a trap to capture Santa Claus, in case that jolly old man would come to kill you all. Spinister please, Santa brings presents, not death. He was paranoid beyond salvation with a sensitive trigger finger, but damn was he a good medic. Though he didn't know the proper medical terms, somehow he knew what to do when you sprained your ankle while playing Shoot Shoot Bang Bang.  
  
Crankcase was always frowning, grumbling, and complaining, but you couldn't exactly blame the Con who had a piece of his helm missing. Yeah, he was rude, but the guy didn't mess around when things were serious. If you wanted someone to back you up in serious matters, he was your Con.  
  
Fulcrum? The poor Con could barely stand to be in the same room as you, because he would start gagging if he caught a whiff of you, or save his spark, saw the pores on your face. Rude… Yet he seemed to be obsessed with you in some twisted way.  
  
You and Misfire got on like a house on fire, due to you being kindred spirits. You would get into hilarious misadventures together while blackout drunk. You had mad respect for him, seeing as how he was trying his hardest to help Grimlock recover from whatever had happened to him. Misfire’s weakness was that he couldn't shoot anything to save his own, or anyone else's, ass.  
  
That left Grimlock to save you all, because who the fuck was going to fight against a giant, and not to mention, protective robotic T-Rex? Though you and Grimlock couldn’t understand each other, you still considered him a friend. The two of you would do block puzzles and coloring pages together.  
  
When you suggested that you all could have a Christmas party, Misfire was immediately on your side, helping to make a list of things of all the things you would need. Krok tried to refuse, but when you said that it would help to build team comradery, and that there would be treats and drinks, suddenly the rest of the Scavengers were outvoting him.  
  
The party was still going strong, and everyone was drunk to some degree. You and Misfire were drunkenly singing 'Santa Baby' as the others watched from their places in the room. Crankcase was still frowning, but not as much as before, thanks to the dozen cubes of engex he had drank. Fulcrum wasn't any better, swaying from left to right. Grimlock, surprisingly, had passed out already – a lightweight despite his large size. Krok was pleading with Spinister to stop pointing his gun at everyone – it was a mistake to teach him the ‘finger guns’ gesture. By the time the song had ended, Krok had confiscated the medic's gun.  
  
"Woo! That was fun!" You laughed.  
  
You and Misfire took your seats. Misfire laughed with you and raised his cube of engex.  
  
"For Santa Claus!" Misfire toasted.  
  
"For Santa Claus!" You cheered.  
  
You clinked your glass against his cube, then finished off the rest of your wine while Misfire drank his engex. You fanned yourself, trying to cool down, but the wine was making you flush from the tips of your ears to your chest. You could tell that you had drank enough to bring out the inner nympho in you.  
  
Krok was shaking his helm at two of you. "When you said this would improve our team spirit, I wasn't expecting anything like this."  
  
Oh? You raised a brow at your fearless leader, then took a long drink of the glass of wine that Misfire had just poured for you. You climbed on top of the table to get everyone's attention. You had Krok and Misfire’s gaze on you, but not the others, so you grabbed a spoon from the drinking game earlier, and used it to tap your glass. That got you everyone's attention.  
  
"Ahem!” You started singing, “Can I make a little toast?"  
  
‘Lose Control’ by Hedley was your drunk anthem. You started dancing on the tabletop, and to the Cons' shock, undressing.  
  
"Can we get a little close?" You kicked your shoes off.  
  
"Can I get an amen?" You threw your shirt, and it landed on Grimlock's head, not disturbing his sleep at all.  
  
"Can I get a hell yeah?" You slithered out of your pants, and kicked them off somewhere.  
  
"Can I get a holy ghost?" You raised your arms above your head and cocked your hip, wearing only your underwear.  
  
There was a loud thud as Fulcrum passed out, his helm hitting the table, and his goggles falling down from around his helm. You all looked at him before the attention shifted back to you. You grinned and winked at the mechs still conscious.  
  
"Wanna get this party really started?"  
  
Misfire jumped up from his seat faster than you had ever seen him move. He leaned in for a kiss, his servos on your waist, when he suddenly stopped.  
  
Misfire looked into your eyes. "I know we have been drinking, but I need to know whether you really want to party like this?"  
  
Oh, how sweet he was. Dim sometimes, but sweet. You smiled and leaned in, closing the gap between the two of you. You immediately went in for the kill, demanding permission to enter. As Misfire gasped, your tongue invaded his mouth and started to fondle his soft metal glossa.  
  
His mouth tasted extremely noxious - it must have been the engex he was drinking. You could feel the others' gazes on you two, so you made the kiss sound extra raunchy. You would have deep kissed him for longer, but you needed to breathe, unlike him. When you pulled back there was a string of lubricant connecting your mouths together. You grinned, and wiped the string from his lips and licked it.  
  
"Still questioning me and my choices?" You asked.  
  
He shook his helm. "Nope! Nada! I believe you!"  
  
You smiled indulgently at him. Then you jumped down from the table to the chair and from there to the floor. As you had everyone's eyes on you, you started to roll the waistband of your underwear down.  
  
"Wanna do a team building exercise now?" You purred.  
  
You heard cooling fans click on. Misfire and Spinister moved in eagerly, Crankcase almost involuntarily, but Krok hesitated. You looked at him standing on the side, and motioned him to come over. The captain seemed sheepish, but he did what you wanted and approached you.  
  
"If the captain is okay with it, I would like it if you finished undressing me?"  
  
Krok swallowed hard. You thought that you might have scared him off, but he took a step closer to you. He gently pulled your underwear down your legs, and you stepped out of them. You grinned and motioned for him to kneel. You laid back on Krok’s thighs and spread your legs wide open. Your hand went to your dripping sex as Krok watched with a front seat view. Everyone stared with their crimson optics wide at how you pleasured yourself. You moaned out loud to try to get them to lose control, but they were all still holding back.  
  
"C'mon men, you can touch yourselves if you want."  
  
With your permission, Misfire and Spinister immediately opened their modesty panels, and their spikes pressurized straight into their waiting servos. You glanced at Crankcase, but the mech just scowled hard at you. You smiled at him with exaggerated cheer, and beckoned him over with your slick hand.  
  
"Join the fun, Crankcase!"  
  
The blue con scowled, but his panel slid back, and his spike pressurized into his servo. You grinned cheekily. You started to finger yourself to get yourself ready for your big boys. You moaned at the thought of stretching yourself around a huge spike. You glanced Krok over your shoulder and winked at him.  
  
"Want me to ride you?"  
  
The captain rose up in shock, and you almost slid off of his lap. His vocalizer spammed static as he tried to keep his cool, but judging by the feel of his fans blowing hot air, he was very interested. You jumped off of his lap to stand proudly naked before him. You motioned him to lie back on the ground. You started to climb onto Krok when he suddenly stopped you.  
  
"Wait, don't you need lube?!" He asked.  
  
You blinked. "Oh yeah. I almost forgot."  
  
You were glad that Krok had remembered, because you didn’t want to wake up extremely sore as well as hungover.  
  
You turned to Misfire. "Can you grab the bottle that’s in my bag?"  
  
"Aye, aye!" The flier saluted.  
  
He rushed to the table to quickly grab your backpack. He struggled with the zipper in his rush, but managed to get it open. He almost dropped the bottle in his excitement before giving it to you. Krok must have expected you to stretch yourself open some more, but you were ready and didn’t want to wait anymore. So, you grabbed the captain's spike and generously lubed it up. Krok groaned quietly with his optics closed. You started to position yourself over his spike. You were just about to start lowering yourself onto him when he suddenly stopped you.  
  
"Wait- I- You-!" He didn't know what to say.  
  
You smiled lightly and patted his thigh to get his attention. "I trust you, captain,” you confessed.  
  
Krok's optics widened in shock. He was about to speak, but you cut him off by starting to descend on his spike. His helm snapped back and he let out a loud moan. You groaned as you took as much of his spike as possible. For a human you did rather well. You had about half of the captain's spike inside you already. But you had to wait until you got used to his girth before you could move. You glanced at the others over your shoulder and waved them closer.  
  
"Hurry and get what you want... I still have my hands and mouth...!" You moaned.  
  
Misfire and Spinister jumped, ready to race against each other to see who would get your mouth, but a dark blue ped came out of nowhere to trip the duo.  
  
"Amateurs..." Crankcase grumbled as he walked up to you. He took a hold of the base of his spike, and poked the tip to the corner of your mouth. "Now open up, you tease!"  
  
You grinned and did as told. Crankcase thrust straight into your mouth, but instead of just ramming his spike at the back of your throat as you expected, he only pushed the tip of his dark blue spike into your mouth. He was actually watching after you. You always rewarded such kind behavior, so you started to suck and massage the underside of his spike with your tongue. His reaction was instantaneous but subdued - Crankcase held in all of the delicious groans and moans you knew he had deep inside.  
  
You were now feeling more relaxed, so you slowly raised your hips before starting to slowly push down on Krok's spike. Krok stared at where his spike disappeared into your body. His servos took a hold of your hips to lift you up... only to slowly move you back down. Huh, slow and sweet, and not to mention very caring. Krok knew your body’s limits better than you usually did. Krok's spike felt amazing inside you. It was almost too big, touching places inside of you that no one else had touched before. You wanted to just jump on his lap like a kid in the bouncy castle, but Krok held you back so you wouldn't hurt yourself.  
  
"Don't forget us!"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
Suddenly both of your hands were grasped and placed on some hard yet slick things. It didn't take a genius to realize what you had in your hands. Spikes, you had spikes in your hands. You moved your fists up to the tips to tease their slits. They both started to moan shamelessly. You grinned around your mouthful, and started to pump the needy neglected spikes like you owed Misfire and Spinister money.  
  
Honestly, having four giant, supposedly evil Decepticons at your mercy was so erotic. You took pride in making Crankcase open up a little. The idea that you could easily stop the movement of your hands and leave Misfire and Spinister without an overload made you feel smug. But all of those feelings flew out of the window when you felt the tip of Krok's spike touch your most sensitive spot inside you. Your hands stuttered to a stop, and you drooled on the spike in your mouth.  
  
Soon you found a rhythm that worked for everyone. Krok would move you on his spike at a pace he found most pleasurable, yet safe for you. Crankcase would move your head as he pleased, but he was actually being very careful – he just liked to act as though he didn’t care about you. Misfire and Spinister were happy to be stroked by your hands, but at some point, they had taken a gentle hold of your fists to guide you on how they best liked to be jacked off.  
  
You were moaning loudly and trying to tell Krok to fuck you dammit, but you were incoherent with a spike in your mouth. You were going to cum first, which would be unfair if you couldn’t finish the four of them off, but you were a human and possibly more sensitive than your friends.  
  
"Scrap!" Crankcase suddenly cursed.  
  
He pulled out so fast that it was lucky he didn't break your teeth. You gasped as you finally got to breathe properly, when suddenly this warm sticky clear liquid hit your face and filled your open mouth. Crankcase was the first one to overload. You groaned, not sure whether transfluid was toxic to humans, so you just let it run out of your mouth and down your front to avoid swallowing it.  
  
"Scrap, that's sexy...!" You heard Crankcase growl as he stepped back.  
  
You felt your chest expand with pride at making Crankcase come undone. Damn right you were sexy.  
  
"I'm- I'm!" Krok yelled.  
  
Krok started to bounce you faster, somehow still managing to not slam you down on his spike. Now that your mouth was empty, you could moan and wail like a porn star. You were so close…!  
  
You whined and cried, "Krok, please, a little more! Don't overload yet!"  
  
Hearing you beg must have been the thing Krok needed to fight against the overload for your sake. You were happy he heard you, but you still had a duo on your hands. Literally. The flyers were furiously fragging your fists. You knew that they wouldn't last much longer. Just as they were about to overload, they pushed your hands away and roughly jerked themselves into overload.  
  
"Overloading!" Spinister shouted.  
  
Misfire grunted, "Shoot!"  
  
A load of transfluids hit your face. You closed your eyes so that you wouldn't get any in them. But something was wrong. There was only one overload shot at your face. You wiped your eyes clean so that you could look at the Cons. You noticed transfluids splattered across the floor beside you. You turned to look at Misfire, and stared at him without blinking.  
  
Misfire missed.  
  
Both fliers fell back with Crankcase, so that you could focus only on Krok. The mech groaned, not able to hold back any longer.  
  
You cried out, "Harder, Krok, please!"  
  
The captain heard your pleas. He picked up the pace, and soon enough, you came on his spike. Krok followed soon after you. You were both panting and in need of rest, but you couldn't just be left like that, with your whole body covered in transfluids. Slowly, Krok lifted you off of his depressurizing spike. As soon as his spike popped out of you, all of the transfluids he had shot inside of you came dripping down. The Cons groaned at the sight, seeming as though they wanted a Round 2, but they all needed to rest and refuel first.  
  
"Primus...!" Krok gasped and looked at you. "Do humans always celebrate like this?"  
  
You turned to look at him, before grinning like the sexy devil you were.  
  
"Only me."  
  
You all heard a groan coming from the table, and you all turned to look at Fulcrum who was waking up. The Con rubbed his optics, then looked at you tiredly. He had a disgusted look on his face, but he was still staring at your nude body covered in transfluids.  
  
“What’d I miss?” Fulcrum said.


	24. Silent Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You spend a Silent Night with Rung.

It was Christmas Eve, and you were sitting alone in Swerve's, nursing your hot cocoa. You were just relaxing, enjoying the heat the mug was emitting against your palms. The bar was empty, save for yourself, and two others. Swerve was closing up with Ten, so you drank the rest of your cocoa in one go.  
  
"I think I’ve had enough for tonight,” you said as you pushed the mug away from you.  
  
Swerve smiled at you, and grabbed the empty cup to be washed later.  
  
"Long night?" He guessed.  
  
You grinned. "Silent Night."  
  
Swerve smiled wider. "Well, have a merry night, and remember, tomorrow is Christmas Day!"  
  
"It will be chaotic." You laughed lightly.  
  
You jumped on your scooter, then bid Swerve and Ten a good night.  
  
It was quiet in the halls. Almost eerily quiet. Not a single soul in sight. It was a quiet night - so different from the usual havoc that the bots caused day after day. But now, everyone was gone. Everyone was recharging in their habsuites. You were probably the only one still awake.  
  
"Why, hello there!"  
  
Or so you thought. You stopped walking to look over your shoulder, and saw Rung coming up from behind you. You smiled. You liked Rung - he was maybe one of your best friends ever. On Earth, you had never found a genuinely sweet and kind soul like Rung.  
  
"Evening, Rung!" You greeted the orange bot. You turned your body towards him so that you wouldn't put any strain on your neck. "What brings you here? I thought everyone was recharging already. Save for Swerve and Ten."  
  
"Oh, I was just going through some patient files. Also, I wanted to ask if you would accompany me back to my room? I have something I want to give you."  
  
You froze. Rung couldn't have meant... ‘snuggles’ with no clothes? You tried to fight the blush you felt rising. You were weighing your options, but you didn't see anything wrong with it. Sure, it wasn't like you to dance the horizontal tango, especially not the night before Christmas, but maybe you could give it a try?  
  
"Lead the way,” you said.  
  
Rung smiled.  
  
An hour passed, but you were still clothed and undefiled.  
  
You were silent as you read this weird alien winter solstice romance novel that you got from Rung as an early Christmas present. It was from some alien planet whose residents had the weirdest sense of romance. Apparently, they had four traditional ways to date and love. All of them completely foreign to you.  
  
So the book you were reading was confusing as fuck, but the plot twists and the relationship shenanigans between the main characters kept your mind working nonstop. You couldn't afford to let your mind wander as you read, or you would be completely lost.  
  
Rung was reading his own copy of the same book. You wondered how far along he was. You knew that you had started reading at the same time, but you had to stop and write the characters' names down so that you could keep up with who was who. Alien names were tricky to remember.  
  
You saw Rung smile, and you were overtaken by curiosity. Did he just read the scene where Shirka and Sulava cheated on their partners Haamut and Nikleo together? Or is he at the part where Shirka approached Nikleo to help her find her mate Haamut a winter solstice gift? Or was he further along the book than you were? You could ask, but you didn't want to spoil the book for yourself.  
  
You should continue reading, but you just stared at Rung, marvelling at how his glasses glowed, thanks to his optics hidden behind them.  
  
Suddenly he looked at you and smiled. "Oh, pardon me! Did you want to ask me something?"  
  
"Uhh..." Your mind was blank. You quickly coughed into your fist. "I, uh, was just wondering which part you're at?"  
  
"Oh, why, thank you for asking. I don't want to spoil the book for you, but I'm actually at chapter 11."  
  
Dang, you were only on chapter 8. What kind of book has this much drama and sex only 8 chapters in? Either the story progressed quickly, or the writer was hornier than you thought was possible.  
  
As you read on, you realized that there was a lot in one chapter to take in. You kept on reading until your eyes started to feel heavy and you had problems focusing on the line you were on. When the letters started to dance in front of your eyes, you came to the conclusion that you had read enough for tonight. Huh. You made it to chapter 15. Halfway through the book.  
  
"Sorry, Rung, but I'm too tired to read anymore,” you said sleepily.  
  
You didn’t have a bookmark, and you didn’t want to dog-ear the pages of your gift from Rung, so you fixed the page number firmly in your mind. Your friend looked up from his book to smile at you kindly.  
  
"It's quite alright. I already finished the book, but I didn't want to alarm you."  
  
"If you tell me what happens, I will get back at you, like, hiding your glasses,” you warned playfully.  
  
Rung pushed the said glasses back over his optics. "I wouldn't dream of it."  
  
You nodded in mock seriousness. You stood up, and placed your new book in the storage box of your hover scooter. You were about to hop on, but before you could leave, you noticed Rung standing at the door.  
  
"Where are you going?" You asked.  
  
The orange mech smiled kindly. "I'm escorting you, of course. I wouldn't be much of a friend if I just kicked you out in the middle of the night cycle."  
  
You looked at him long and hard before your facade crumbled and you blushed. You quickly averted your eyes and ducked your head so he couldn't see your face.  
  
"Okay, but let's go now so I can get some sleep before tomorrow comes."  
  
Rung smiled, and the two of you left his comfy habsuite. As Rung walked and you hovered along, you had a very passionate discussion about the plot of the book, and the aliens' love lives.  
  
"I don't know if there is a chance between the Shirka and Haamut to mend their relationship now that she cheated on him with Sulava. Same with Sulava and Nikleo. It takes a lot to gain back trust after such a betrayal,” you said.  
  
Rung nodded as he listened to you talk. Then he replied, “I understand where you are coming from. Trust and intimacy between lovers can be fragile, but as we read in the book, there is also love based on hatred towards one another."  
  
You nodded. "But to have a relationship that's based on both hating each other? That sounds... Malicious?"  
  
"It's their way of loving, but I think a relationship like that can be highly volatile."  
  
You sighed out loud and shook your head. "Damn, if I had someone who would love me just as I am, I would be loyal to a fault."  
  
Rung smiled as he listened to you rant about love and the meaning of trust in a relationship. You kept talking so intensively that you didn’t notice when Rung had stopped walking. When you went to glance at him and saw that he wasn’t at your side, you looked back to see him standing by the door of your habsuite. You blushed. You couldn't believe that you drove past your own room.  
  
"Uh, thanks Rung.”  
  
The mech smiled at you kindly. "Anything for my favorite human."  
  
"Haha! Okay, good night!" You laughed loudly and awkwardly.  
  
Oh God, your face felt hot. You quickly turned your back to Rung to open your door so that you could escape. But Rung stopped you from running away. You glanced at him in surprise. He gently pulled you closer to him.  
  
"This may be bold of me, but..." He said as he slowly bent down to gently kiss the top of your head.  
  
Your eyes widened in shock. When pulled back your head whipped up to look at him. You couldn't see his optics behind the glasses, but you saw his adoring smile. You stuttered in shock and he smiled even wider as he opened your suite's door for you.  
  
"Well, I wish you a good night's rest! Sleep well!" He said before turning and leaving.  
  
Your face was burning. You couldn’t handle all of this emotion, so you ran to jump on your bed and screamed into a pillow with a wide smile on your face.  
  
Maybe you actually had a chance with Rung?


	25. Christmas Sweater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Christmas Eve on Lost Light and everyone is all dressed up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone! I understand that this has been a hectic year and there are people who can’t celebrate Christmas like they would like to because of the Coronavirus so I hope that ‘25 Days of MTMTE Christmas’ has been lightening your dark nights and made you smile even the tiniest bit.
> 
> I want to thank my beloved friend @missykitty! She read every single chapter and edited them, gave me inspiration, corrected my spelling and choice of words because English isn’t my first language or even second. She made this story possible.
> 
> I want to also thank you all for reading and enjoying my stories. I write to bring joy to people and I have been extra diligent this year. I wish you all Merry Christmas and thank you for being so strong.

You loved the holidays! You always had. Christmas was the time of joy and celebration with loved ones. The exact things that you were missing from Earth. Here in space, in a whole other galaxy, you had found a new family. Your found family made sure that you had everything you ever needed or desired, and you loved them back with your whole heart. But none of them celebrated Christmas, so you felt lonesome and nostalgic for your Christmas traditions.  
  
You rode your hover scooter through the empty halls before arriving at the mess hall for dinner. It was a bit depressing that your Christmas dinner would be the same as any other day. You were shocked out of your thoughts when you realized that the mess hall was deserted. Where was everyone? You looked around in confusion. Usually, the hall would be filled with hungry Autobots around the clock, but now the place looked abandoned. You felt even more depressed at the thought of eating your Christmas dinner all alone. You despondently made your way to your usual spot. Your eyes widened in surprise at the sight of a handwritten note on the table.  
 _  
'Come to the meeting room!'_  
  
They didn’t forget about you after all! Aww, how sweet they were. You were curious about what they had planned for today. You couldn't help but smile excitedly as you picked up the note and left to go where you were instructed.  
  
You arrived at the door. You could hear voices coming from inside. Was everyone there just waiting for you? You smiled to yourself. You left your scooter at the side of the door, and pressed the buzzer. The voices inside halted instantly. You put in the code and entered. You were surprised to see that it was pitch black in the room. You clapped your hands to activate the lights. What you saw took your breath away.  
  
"Merry Christmas!" Everybody cheered.  
  
You were stunned at the sight. You were expecting to see your Cybertronian friends, but instead the room was filled with humans. Humans you didn't know. You weren't that good with people back on Earth, so just how bad you were going to be with them in space?  
  
You were about to bolt, but this short stocky man approached you. He was wearing blue shield-style sunglasses. Oh God, he had a Christmas sweater on. A bright red sweater that read _'He Sees You When You're Drinking'_ in white bold letters. You stared at his sweater.  
  
You absolutely adored so-called ‘Ugly Christmas Sweaters’. You didn't even know why for sure, but they were funny and quirky. You made it a tradition to check secondhand stores for rejected Christmas sweaters. When you were younger, you were teased for wearing them. Then they became popular, and even your former bullies started wearing them to ‘Ugly Christmas Sweater’ parties. You were annoyed about that, but at least now you could share your love of tacky things with others.  
  
"Hi, yes, we are happy you made it!" The man said happily in a voice you knew.  
  
You blinked. "Swerve, is that you?"  
  
"Yeah, it's me! Everyone is here also!" He said happily. He stepped closer to you. "It was mine and Rewind's idea to use our human avatars to make you feel at home. How do you like it?"  
  
Well, you were speechless and taken aback at how sweet their intentions were. You smiled and were about to answer the bartender, but then your eyes landed on him.  
  
"OhmyGod!OhmyGod! Oh! My! God!" You squealed. You quickly covered your mouth when you realized just how loud you were being. "I can't, I just can't...!"  
  
"What?? What is it?!" Swerve asked in a panic, fearing that he and others had messed up somehow and offended you.  
  
But you didn't respond. You ran straight to this tall woman wearing a beautiful purple Victorian-style dress. But it wasn't her you were squealing for. It was a toddler wearing a blue polar bear sweater with an actual crystal blue pacifier clipped to the material. The little guy even had blue sunglasses similar to Swerve’s.  
  
"E-Excuse me, Ma’am, bu-but could I hold your baby?" You asked barely keeping your composure as you looked at the little guy.  
  
The woman smiled slightly, and… Oh no, she was hot. She lifted the toddler out of the baby carrier on her chest, and offered him to you.  
  
"Hold him carefully,” she said.

You nodded as you took the toddler from her arms and pulled him close.

"Oh my God, you're so cute! Where have you been hiding all my life, you little cutie pie?"

Okay, you were totally baby-talking to the cutest child you may have ever seen. Your voice had probably raised an octave, and you weren’t worried about controlling the volume of your voice anymore. Maybe you sounded ridiculous, but your heart was mush and you had no shame.

"I'm not a baby, or whatever it is!" The child suddenly exclaimed. You blinked in surprise. You looked at the child carefully, and saw a light blue ‘T’ on the child's adorable sailor hat. And that voice...!

"Tailgate? Is that you?" You asked.

The child nodded. "Yes!"

"Oh, Tailgate..." You sighed in joyful surprise. Then you smiled even wider before hugging the mini-human. "You're so freaking cute!"

"Nooo…! I'm ferocious!" Tailgate cried.

You turned to look at the tall woman that had been holding Tailgate before. "Cyclonus?"

"That would be me,” she, no, he said.  
  
"You look amazing,” you said.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
You gave Tailgate back to Cyclonus, then turned to gaze at the rest of the holoforms mingling in the room. One by one, you recognized familiar features in these human forms.  
  
You jumped over to a tall young man, with a dark flame tattooed arm, wild auburn hair, and a handsome smile. He was wearing a short-sleeved sweater that read _'You Can Get On My Naughty List Anytime'_. You grinned.  
  
"Rodimus! You look great! Very hot!" You joked, winking at him.  
  
"I know.”  
  
You giggled as Rodimus licked the tip of his digit and then pressed it to his hip, making a hissing noise.  
  
You turned to see a young lady wearing a dark blue sweater with so much text on it that you had to squint to see what was written there. _'Santa Saw Your Facebook Pictures, You're Getting Clothes And A Bible For Christmas'_. Ouch. Only one mech would approve of a shirt like that.  
  
"Ultra Magnus, sir? Is that you?" You asked.  
  
The woman holoform nodded. You grinned and pointed at his sweater.  
  
"That sweater looks good on you."  
  
"Thank you. Although, I have no clue what this ‘Facebook’ is. I presume that it's a device or program that keeps records of criminals and persons of interest. That sounds like a good idea to me."  
  
You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from laughing. Instead, you clapped.  
  
"Wonderful sweater. Truly."  
  
You moved on to the next mech and--Oh! Who was this big silver fox standing before you, tall and proud in a sweater that had _'Naughty' and 'Nice'_ with checkboxes in front of each… but the checkbox in front of _'I Tried'_ was the one that was check-marked. You barely paid any attention to the text, rather watching how the sweater was stretched across his broad chest and muscled biceps...  
  
"It's Megatron,” Rodimus butted in from behind you.  
  
You nodded mindlessly, almost in a trance as you ogled the former criminal. DAMN! IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL TO BE THAT SEXY.  
  
The old man sighed, misinterpreting your look. "I was persuaded to use my avatar, and get some kind of ugly clothing that humans wear."  
  
"Megatron...! Wow…” you said, blinking like a deer in headlights. "Like WOW."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, we get it. So he is handsome for a human! So what!" Someone yelled.  
  
You glanced over your shoulder, and saw the most badass looking teen girl you had ever seen. She had long blue hair in pigtails, and an eyepatch over the left eye...  
  
"Whirl?!" You accidentally shouted.  
  
The girl, no, Whirl stopped pushing you away from Megatron. He struck a pose to show off to you.  
  
"Yeah, it is I, fleshie. Admit it - I look badass,” he said.  
  
You took in his dark blue sweater that read: _'Dear Santa, Define Naughty'.  
_  
"I had spiked knee guards also, but Magnus said they were too much,” Whirl complained.  
  
You snorted. "What a tragedy."  
  
Whirl said some colorful words to you, but you laughed it off.  
  
You turned away, and came face-to-face with two men, one tall and dark-haired, and the other short and blond. You blinked and tilted your head, wondering who they could be. Then you noticed the camera in the blond man's hands.  
  
"Rewind! And Chromedome!" You exclaimed.  
  
They smiled at you in response.  
  
"How did you figure it out?" Chromedome asked.  
  
"Rewind's camera. Also, your matching sweaters."  
  
You laughed and pointed at their sweaters. Chromedome's said _'World's Okayest Elf'_ and Rewind's read _'I'm Not Short I'm Just A Tall Elf'_. You smiled at them before moving through the crowd again, until you saw a man with glasses and carrot-red hair. He was certainly smart looking. You knew a few smart mechs, but you were sure you knew which one this was.  
  
"Rung! You look amazing!"  
  
The distinguished-looking man before you smiled and confirmed your guess to be right. Honestly? You would tap that ass. His sweater read: _'Santa Loves A Hot Cookie'_. You giggled lightly.  
  
Then you noticed two smokin’ hot ladies that you recognized as Nautica and Velocity, and two hot men talking with them, likely Brainstorm and Perceptor.  
  
Nautica's sweater was bright purple and read: _'But First Let Me Take An #elfie'_. Velocity's had a cat on it and read: _'Happy Hannukkat_ '. Brainstorm’s read: _'Santa Is Real In At Least 370 Alternate Realities'_. And Perceptor...! Oh, Percy must have lost a bet or something, because he had a sweater that read: _'I Am Your Present'_ , and there was an arrow that happened to be pointing at Brainstorm at any given moment.  
  
Finally, the last pair. You smiled when you saw them. Drift was a handsome young man with ink black hair. Ratchet was a scruffy-bearded man whose hair and beard were red streaked with white. Drift was wearing a sweater that said: _'While You Were Decorating The House I Studied The Blade'_. Ratchet's sweater had a huge picture of Grumpy Cat that simply said _'NO'_.  
  
You slowly made your way through the crowded room, making sure to say hello to everybot present. Besides being polite, you just had to check out all of the ‘Ugly Christmas Sweaters’. They were all amazing! You had never seen so many ‘Ugly Christmas Sweaters’ in one place! More than that, they all had been thinking about you, and how you might be missing human company. Just seeing them all gathered together made you feel like you were back on Earth for Christmas, surrounded by family and friends. You nearly cried at the thought.  
  
"Um, can I have everyone's attention?" You said, trying to raise your voice loud enough to fill the room.  
  
Every bot in a human disguise turned to look at you. You coughed awkwardly into your fist, then smiled tremulously, trying not to cry.  
  
"I just wanted to thank you all. For the amazing surprise. I love all of your sweaters – you all look great. You all are like a family to me, and I hope you feel the same way."  
  
Everyone cheered loudly. You blushed in embarrassment, but then Swerve rushed up to you, with Rung following closely behind in a more subdued manner. You smiled at both of them.  
  
"Thank you so much, you guys. I couldn't dream of a better surprise."  
  
"Oh, but this is just the beginning," Rung said with a mysterious smile.  
  
You blinked in confusion. "What?"  
  
"We just needed to buy some time while Lug and Anode finished at my place!" Swerve said.  
  
Lug and Anode…! You hadn’t seen them here at all! How could you have forgotten them?!  
  
Then Swerve took your hand in his to lead you to the next surprise. Everyone followed behind, laughing and whispering behind your back. When you entered Swerve’s, you could barely believe what you saw. Christmas decorations everywhere, gleaming and shining! You could even smell something delicious wafting in the air.  
  
"Don't tell me you cooked?" You asked in shocked disbelief.  
  
Just as you finished speaking, Lug and Anode came from the bar's backroom with their servos holding trays heaped with different Earth foods traditional for Christmas. There were also energon treats for your Cybertronian friends. Just when you were sure the party couldn't get any better, somebody put Christmas music on to play.  
  
You turned to look at the bots standing all around you. "Is it-Is it okay to eat?"  
  
Everyone gave you a clear go-ahead, so you began to take helpings of everything so as not to disappoint any of your friends that had worked so hard. Surprisingly, they had nailed it for most of the foods. Though the cranberry sauce was accidentally made with cherries, and the chocolate mousse was too sweet, they were still delicious. When you couldn’t eat any more, you thought that the good time would end there… but you thought wrong.  
  
Somehow Swerve had gotten his servos on the Cybertronian equivalent of a karaoke machine. Brainstorm and Perceptor had its files updated with all of the top hits from Earth. There were over 1,000 songs per country, so you had an overwhelming number of options. Some Christmas songs, both classic and new, were included as well. To start, Rodimus rocked the song 'The Phoenix' by Fall Out Boy. With that magnificent show of talent, charisma, and showmanship, others were then itching to get a turn of their own.  
  
Nautica, Velocity, and Rewind sang 'Bubblegum Bitch' together. Ultra Magnus sang 'It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas'. You insisted on singing a song called 'Do It For Her/Him' from Steven Universe with Cyclonus. The purple mech thought it was silly to sing a song from a human cartoon, but when he sang, he gave Tailgate meaningful looks. And you? You might have winked Megatron's way a couple of times.  
  
You were really enjoying yourself - the party was amazing. It was everything that you could have hoped for. Nothing could top this. Or so you thought, until you were asked to close your eyes and hold your arms out.  
  
"Guys, you aren't going to prank me, or do anything to me that will end up on Youtube??" You asked nervously.  
  
You heard a snicker from Rewind. "Don't worry! We won't!"  
  
"I can hear that camera rolling, Rewind!" You snapped.  
  
You jumped when something was placed in your hands.  
  
"Open your eyes."  
  
You opened one eye at first, then the other. You couldn't believe it. It was a sweater, unbelievingly soft, knitted in your favorite colors. Even better, in the middle of the oversized sweater was a large red Autobot symbol. You stared at it, eyes wide. When you finally raised your head, you had tears in your eyes.  
  
"Y-You're giving this to me?"  
  
"We had to pull some strings, and call in some favors, but yes." Rodimus smiled as bright as the sun from back home. "You're officially an Autobot now."  
  
You couldn't hold back your tears anymore. There was no greater honor than to be admitted to the Autobot order. You started to cry, but the tears were those of pure joy. You sniffled and wiped your face before looking at your dear friends.  
  
"C-Can I put it on?"  
  
They nodded, and you wasted no time. You pulled the sweater over your head, and then smoothed down your hair. The sweater was a few sizes bigger than your usual size, but that only made it comfier. You smiled, and almost wiped your nose on the sleeve, but you stopped yourself and instead used a napkin.  
  
"It's both the ugliest pretty sweater and the prettiest ugly sweater I have ever seen. I love it,” you admitted, your voice wobbly.  
  
Your fellow Autobots all said ‘Awww!’ at your emotional display. You opened your arms wide and waiting, and the bots got the idea. They all closed in for a group hug, lifting you off of your feet. You were surrounded by those you loved dearly, and you didn’t regret leaving Earth for a second.  
  
"Merry Christmas!" You all cheered, echoing each other.


End file.
